Arthur came home from his first day of school and said, "Mom, I hate school! I'm never going back! All the kids make fun of me and I don't have any friends!" Arthur's mother replied, "But, honey, you have to go back." To which Arthur pleaded, "Why?" Arthur's mother answered, "Because you're the principal!"
Matt came home from his fifth week of law school and said, "Mom, I hate school! I'm never going back! Everyone just talks about baseball and the Sopranos all the time and nobody laughs at my jokes! I made all my friends in college through the Squelch! My powers are useless here! My laptop is too heavy and the pages of my Criminal Law textbook keep drying out my highlighters! I'm always wrong when I get called on in Civil Procedure! The free pizza is always gone by the time I get there, and there's never anything in my mailbox except junk!" To which Matt's neighbor replied, "I'm not your mother, I'm your next door neighbor. Now quit your bitching and leave my cat alone."