I've come to the conclusion that about 85% of the decisions I make are wrong. That's a rough average, mind you, that doesn't really take into account the comparative weight of each decision, but I'm pretty sure it's illustrative of the general state of affairs in my head. When it comes to major, life-altering decisions, the average is probably a little better, maybe the low 60s, but the medium and small varieties approach the low to mid-90s. All things considered, whether I'm online ordering a birthday present or standing at the supermarket in front of the toothpaste rack, chances are I'll hit a whammy about seventeen times out of twenty. So don't trust me with your kids.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my entire exposure to economics was a three week "accelerated" course during the summer of 1996, and I never developed a firm understanding of cost-benefit analysis. I don't say "accelerated" to brag, by the way, I'm using it in California Public High School sense of "ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag."
I'm fucking tired of getting letters addressed, "Dear Valued Customer..." I'm thinking of making all my bill checks from now on say, "Pay to the order of Hated Company..." This just figures in to my broader disdain for disingenuous form letters, such as all those delightful condolences I received from all those law schools earlier this year. What I'd really like to see, instead of a rejection letter telling me how bad they feel for me and the tens of thousands of other rejects, is a postcard with the letter "N" stamped on it, addressed to me with my name spelled wrong, and a footprint on it. That, ladies and gentlemen, expresses exactly how law schools feel about their rejects. If you want to know how they feel about their students, imagine the same postcard without the footprint.
While I'm at it, Wordperfect has a serious tea-bagging coming from me. What the hell is wrong with Tools>Word Count? Why is File>Properties>Information considered remotely acceptable? And given the fact that "Word Count" appears right there once you sift through the rubble of the file menu, would it kill them to include it in the Help index? Would it? Please?
That wasn't law school-related, I know. I apologize. I'm being violently raped by law school on a daily basis. There's your law school related comment.
I realize that I used "feel bad" earlier. Poor grammar? I don't think so. If you can smell bad you can feel bad.