Have some face.
First off, the inspiration for this week's offering did not come from me alone, but was rather a group effort on the part of four people: Myself, Jedi, Special K, and Nobbaq. The Nobbaq helped draw the Lincoln beard and shot down all of my bad ideas for the fourth panel.
Also, I'm really into nicknames this week.
So here's the story. About a month or so into the semester Jedi stopped shaving, and spoke at length about it at every opportunity. Jedi, incidentally, is one of those gifted individuals, unlike me, whose beard ends at a reasonable point below the chin as opposed to wrapping all the way around the neck, forcing the wearer to confront his ignominious ape ancestry head on. Anyway, the Jedi beard continued unabated for a while until one glorious day when the bearded one showed up at school shaven to the likeness of Chester A. Arthur, our 21st President.
Special K, meanwhile, being an avid trivia master and a huge fan of U.S. Presidents, was thoroughly excited. The overall reaction to the Chet Arthur beard was positive, especially from those of us with wangs, but Jedi was worried that it was impinging on his scoring abilities and simply wouldn't take a beard compliment from a woman at face value. At Special K's request he kept it until Halloween and ditched it soon thereafter.
A little while after Chet Arthur disabeard, Special K was overcome by presidential facial hair withdrawals and began growing out his Abraham Lincoln beard, which is still growing strong as far as I know. Ultimately I joined in the fun and grew myself the now infamous molestache, which has since gone the way of the Chet Arthur beard.
In related news, I'm about a week overdue for a haircut but I'm not going to get one until finals end on December 19th.
Now that I've lowered myself to writing an entire fucking column about hair, I'll slink back to my memo.