Apparently I've been hanging out with the right people, because I got a letter from the Beverly Hills Country Club today (addressed to me) inviting me to "become acquainted with [their] friendly, neighborhood private club." In case you were wondering, membership in their fine club is "exclusive, but not exclusionary. Notable members of the Board of Governors include Dr. Buzz Aldrin, Chris Carter, Barbara Eden, George Hamilton(!), Alan King, Tommy Lasorda, Leslie Moonves(!), Wolfgang Puck, Nancy and Tina Sinatra, and Dr. Harvey A. Zarem.
Some day, perhaps.
By the way, I'm not bragging. There's no way in God's Holy Hell I could get into the BHCC in my current state of affairs. I hope somebody got fired for this.