Comic Stripper 11: Rope


For those of you who were hoping to see some bondage action in this series, I disappoint you yet again.

In other news, I got my first EpiPen today. An EpiPen is a little gadget that injects adrenaline into your body to make sure you don't die from things like bee stings and peanuts, if you're the kind of person who tends to die from those things. If you're not, it just gives you a wicked high. I've somehow managed to survive 24.75 years of peanut (and possibly bee sting) allergy without ever using, or even owning, such a device (despite frequent airplane rides and encounters with people like Lydia), but now that I'm becoming a big responsible adult I figured it was time to start looking out for myself. I'm also eating less poison.

When the pharmacist gave it to me she insisted that I go and have a nurse train me on how to use it. She said it had to be injected at just the right angle, that the angle was really important, that I needed a nurse to show me the angle, that I would totally die if I didn't get the angle right. So I checked out the instructions that were included in the goddamned box and found the magic angle to be .......... 90 degrees. Call me hubristic, but I think I can handle that without seeking the aid of a nurse with a protractor.

So, dear friends, if we're ever hanging out and I start wheezing, swelling, and generally going into conniptions, kindly search my pockets for an amber-colored tube, jab me in the thigh with it, and keep it there until I ask for more. Charles Darwin will stir slightly in his grave, and I'll live to write another long and boring story about being allergic to peanuts.


Just wanted to throw in the line that use of tools is a way in which the physically weaker of the species can outplay the stronger. So you're totally within the scope of my rulebook.

So has the whole nut death thing gotten worse in recent years? As kids I don't ever remember you being quite so paranoid... And are bee stings and nuts somehow related?

some say that more and more things have nuts or traces of nuts in them these days, but i think in my case i was a just a very picky eater as a child so i was less likely to encounter them. i also don't think that convenient self-injectors were around back then, or if they were my parents didn't care enough to get me one.

as for the bee stings, i'm just assuming that sickliness is a global condition, and since i'm allergic to other things (dogs, cats, grass), i'm likely to be allergic to bees. i've only been stung once, and apparently you don't have an allergic reaction until your second exposure. so i'm not taking any chances.

And what Matt gallantly isn't telling you is that *I* was the one who pushed him to get an epipen, so the majority of the paranoia is mine. Working all summer in an oncologist's office, as well as the SM Farmer's Market, have made it quite clear to me the many many ways in which we can die; I'd rather have Matt protected where it's possible. I can't shield him from cancer or cars, but I think I can manage a right angle.

So if it's at the wrong angle he just gets a lump of juice in his thigh somewhere or will it work in some compacity?

the needle only pops out when you press it against yourself, so if you don't do it at the right angle the needle may not pop out. that's my guess. either that or it turns you into a mogwai.

hey! I'll have you know that there are no documented cases of anyone turnign into a Mogwai. While there all well docuemnted and established rules for the regretable Mogwai/Gremlin transfomration, Mogwais themselves are a unique breed and highly endangered. Please write you local Congressman and support the Mogwai Protection Ammendment to the Patriot ][ legistlation.

..uh...I mean...Meep! Meepmeep! I'm cute!

uh, yeah, you know i think the gremlins are actually still technically mogwais. they just get called gremlins because the crazy old man talks about how the japanese saboteurs would put "gremlins" in machines, and then when the transformed mogwai drives the old man's bulldozer (or other such heavy machinery) through the old man's house the old man says "it's a gremlin! there's gremlin in my cab!" just before he's crushed.

but fortunately he survives to return in gremlins 2: the new batch. he brings billy a pie that someone sat on.

on second thought, the transformed mogwais do wreak havoc by getting into, breaking, and screwing around with machinery (like traffic lights and mrs. deedle's automatic chair, or the scene where the gremlin emerges from the contol panel in gremlins 2 right after the guy says "it's always midnight somewhere"), so maybe the old man was right and they really are gremlins, and not just mogwais being mistook for gremlins.

i'd have to ask the chinese man. but he died in gremlins 2. i guess we'll never know.

Dammit movie producers can't you see the need for a Gremlins 3? There are so many questions left unanswered! Like how does the one Mogwai have enough genetic variance to not only make Gremlins of differing looks and personality but also different genders!

hey now. you know as well as i do that the only girl gremlin became a girl after being injected with the vial of female genetic material.

though the colors and, for that matter, face shapes still remain a mystery.

There was a female gremlin in the first one, just not one so slutty as the one in the 2nd.

where was the female gremlin? i thought they were all cut from the same mold, just one had hair on it. are you sure it just wasn't a boy gremlin wearing a dress?

those sneaky little cross-dressing gremlins will get you every time. not that i'm actually backing either one of your claims. i don't recall much about the gremlins movies except for the microwave scene. ugh.

yeah, the gremlin exploding in the microwave was pretty gross. probably more gross than the gremlin being put through the paper shredder in gremlins 2, but not nearly as gross as [SPOILERS!!!] the gremlins melting in the sun at the ends of both movies.

that comment gives a whole new meaning to spoilers. ugh! there goes my lunch.

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on July 23, 2003 10:59 PM.

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