I Fought the Law

Well, don't let your granddad hear you say that- he's convinced Lawyers are Doctors too!

So are there any other former Squelch editors to actually attempt to become comedy writers?

Mandy Kahn works in managing comedy talent, but that's apparently the closest we've come.

Boback has a blog? He acted like he was above it all when I brought up the latest Squelch blogging trend. Liar.

in boback's defense, he (1) began the blog as an off-shoot to his "news by bob" e-mails, and devoted the space almost exclusively to that service, and (2) hadn't updated in months, so maybe he is above it all. he is a doctor, after all.

Wow, that was a fast response.

Yeah, it's all boring news. But it's not like he's updated that much less than Sean, really.

Doctor Liar, I say. Or Doctor Withholding-Embarrassing-Information to say the least. Or maybe he assumed I knew about it. Whatever.

I would be pursuing law right now if USC or UCLA had looked past my weak recommendations and mediocre transcript. Notre Dame did. So did U Minn. But not the SoCals.

yeah, i don't consider myself a blogger because i rarely update and it's not as personal as the others sites. my next entry will probably be a log about my trip to south america, which will also have a reciprocal email form.

allen and monica also have blogs buried in cementhorizon.

the squelch will always produce more doctors than lawyers or comedians. we join the squelch to desensitize ourselves to death...as well as lack of sex. it's kind of philosphical because by denying life and death we call into question existence, which leads me to my next point that the squelch will also create more philosphers than lawyers.

thanks for the congratulations matt.

Bad news, Boback. Ever since you graduated, the Squelch sexual relations rate has skyrocketed. Loker alone has reversed your generation's startling lack of action, though he's not alone.

If you're a doctor, and Matt's a lawyer, and I'm a teacher, and Dave's a playwrite, and Tom's an Italian, I think all we're missing is a baker and candlestick maker.

It's actually pretty clear that the Squelch sex rate has gone up, as the quality of comedy is directly correlated to the level of sexual frustration, barring unseemly self-pity. Thus, the magazine has plummeted in inverse proportion to the sex Loker was having (and to a lesser extent, the rest of you).

Sex is much funnier when joked about by people who have no clue what it's actually like.

No, I'm just kidding. The magazine is fine. Just less good.

I think in terms of aggregate poontang, the Haim factor keeps our generation firmly in the running.

And Patrick Trombley? Hung like a water buffalo.

Sean, just so you know. As soon as google spider's this page you'll be able to see that you've created the only page on the internet with the term "aggregate poontang" on it.

told ya

Reading this makes me think about the good ole times, when sexual frustration was the only thing I had to bellyache about... sniff sniff... i'm sitting in the library hoping i can leave the godforsaken hospital soon, as long as this 11 year-old comatose trauma patient doesn't go to the OR... Jason, wherever you are, stay in research! And all you Squelchies, make a go in comedy... someone's gotta get me tickets to the Oscars!