Last night my journal's outgoing Executive Board all went out for a little Outback action in Pinole. The evening was filled with oversized meats and oversized beers, served by a regular-sized waitress who was four days off her training. But she was prompt and gracious, even at the end of the evening when Joe and Brian decided to try and guess which Asian country her people were from. Meli and I dutifully avoided the fried onions and fried fries, though my choice of entree (the Drover Platter: A barbecued chicken breast on top of a rack of ribs served with cinnaomon apples and a potato), left just enough room for a sundae with no nuts for dessert. I also had two of the aforementioned giant beers toward the beginning of the evening.
On the way back into Berkeley we found ourselves pyloned into a single lane on University Avenue and surrounded by police cars and a large mangled non-police car in a big glass tank that said "MAAD" on it. Sobriety check! I was seen to by a large and friendly police officer whose name I didn't get, but it may have rhymed with "Roughkins." I was maximally perky in answering his questions, and was truthful when he asked if I had had anything to drink. I pointed out that the extent of my drinking was two beers three hours earlier, but neglected to mention the ginormity of said beers (or, for that matter, my inhuman metabolism rate when it comes to fermented sugars). Anyway, he was visibly irritated by my truthful response but retained his pleasant demeanor, joking: "Don't you know you're supposed to lie?" He had me follow his finger with my eyes for a few seconds and then sent me on my way.
On the way back we were discussing various alternative possible responses to the officer's question. Brian came up with, "Why no, Mr. Big Purple Rabbit, why do you ask?" I recounted a stand-up comedy routine I had seen in my youth where the comedian said the correct answer to that question is always "No," even if it comes out "Nnnn-nnnn-nnnnnoooooooooo."
Anyway, we closed up the evening at the home of Brian and his wife, where we met their ridiculous cat, Shao Bai Shiu:
His name means "little white pig" in Chinese. At first we didn't see him, since he was artfully disguised as a fluffy white couch cushion. When, like a singing Christmas tree, he opened his eyes and sprang to life, we nearly wet each other with surprise.
On the way out their building I managed to miss a step in the dark and nearly break my goddamned ankle. It's hurty today but not swollen, so I figure as long as I don't go to the gym for the next two months I should heal up well.
And today, the digestion.