Side note: I remain open to your futile attempts to convince me that I'm wrong about the new Star Wars movie. Lord knows there's nothing I enjoy more than complaining. But for a change of pace, this is a post about office decorations.
Despite the fact that I'm nearly five months away from my official start date at the old law firm, I've already amassed a nice starting collection of office what-nots. In addition to Owly the Graduation Owl and numerous photos of Meli, the cats, and my more attractive friends, I also have the little placard I picked up in Munich that says "Trinken Sie niemals Wasser, Fische vogeln darin" ("Never drink water, fish fuck in it"). The whereabouts of this placard are currently unknown, which may be God's way of telling me that I should have purchased the sticker of the jelly donut with the cartoon face saying "Ich bin ein Berliner."
There's also the 10" bronze statuette of Justice that my grandparents gave me, which looks like this:
But the current pride of my collection just arrived in the mail today. It's a poster that I first spotted at the Velvet Grill in Alameda, a diner where Meli and I used to eat fattening breakfasts on a weekly basis. Put simply, it's two bananas about to have sex on a bed that's a pie crust, with a cherry watching them. No, really:
This apotheosis of graphic art is presently hanging framed in our bedroom, eagerly awaiting October 17th, when it will move to a cozy little office in Menlo Park and act as the first step in the long road toward getting me fired.