November 09, 2006

Beard-Talkin'

Dr. M and I finally watched X-Men 3 this evening. What a piece of crap. Fortunately we heard all the bad reviews going in so we weren't expecting much and were able to have fun with our cracking-wise.

The most entertaining thread in our couch-bound heckling began when I posited the question of whether Wolverine's mutton chops talk to each other. At first I envisioned nothing more than a "shampoo is better"-style argument as to which was the better mutton chop, but then Dr. M came up with the idea of one mutton chop being good and the other being evil, each trying to influence Wolverine. Later, as Cyclops angstily motorcycled off in search of Jean Grey's disembodied consciousness (one of the great things about this movie is that the Xavier School, Alkali Lake, Jean Grey's childhood home, and San Francisco are all within ten minutes of each other), Dr. M attributed to Cyclops a plan to grow his own pair of mutton chops that would fight Wolverine's mutton chops. Unfortunately Jean Grey ate Cyclops before the mutton chop battle could be joined.

While I'm on the subject I should also mention that X-Men 3 inspired the following hilarious (to my eyes) MySpace bulletin from my ne'er-do-well brother:

Subject: Movies like X-Men 3 make me was I had ten thumbs.
Body: 'Cause all them shits would be down.

He later posted a follow-up bulletin in which he proclaimed that he'd rather kill a thousand puppies than watch X-Men 3 again.

Posted by hb at November 9, 2006 11:42 PM

Comments

Are 'chops considered "beard?"

I always though that beard implied hair on the chin. Though that definition makes the chops that attached to a handlebar 'stache hard to define....

Posted by: jmv on November 10, 2006 09:13 AM

saw that movie on a plane recently and was bored to tears. craptastic!

Posted by: meish on November 10, 2006 05:17 PM

After all that I'd heard about X3, when I finally saw it I didn't feel like it was all that bad. But then I only know the X Men from the movies, so I am not what you would call a purist. For me the most ridiculous part was how they kept having to remind you what everyone's powers were in their one-liners, i.e. "Not everyone heals as fast as you, Logan."

Posted by: kenny on November 10, 2006 06:13 PM

I don't think you need to be a purist to be disappointed with X3. I was never a huge fan of the comics, but I was a big fan of the first two movies, and it was obvious that a Singer-helmed X3 would have been much better than the Rattner piece-o-crap that we ended up with.

Posted by: matt on November 11, 2006 12:00 PM

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