January 08, 2007

Of All the Ass-Headed...

Apparently the geniuses at Fox have green-lighted "an ensemble dramedy about the personal lives of six U.S. Supreme Court clerks," and they're calling it... wait for it... Supreme Courtships. This news, sent to me by JMV, has inspired me to delve into my creative self-loathing and pen this. I apologize for the low quality but I'm afraid Ruby threw up on my art pencil (symbolism!) and I haven't had a chance to buy a new one.

First of all, why six clerks? There are thirty-six clerks at the Supreme Court. There are nine justices. Their format doesn't even cover all nine justices. Also, Supreme Court clerks are only at the Court for one year. How are they planning to make it past the first season? Are they going to replace the cast every year, or follow the original six as they go off and become law professors, Deputy Solicitors General, and high-powered litigators, thereby dislodging themselves from the show's central premise? And has Fox already forgotten the two Supreme Court-based television shows that have already failed?* This has bad idea written all over it.

Besides, what do Supreme Court clerks do all day? They read and they write. How does that make for good television? Maybe it'll be like Monty Python's "Novel Writing: Live from Wessex." I could seriously sit here and write all night about all the reasons this is a terrible idea for a television show, and hypothesize about all the dumb plot elements they're going to squeeze into the first episode. Will the the clerk for the super-liberal Justice have a forbidden love affair with the clerk for the super-conservative justice? Will the devout Catholic clerk be able to write an opinion upholding Roe v. Wade for her "abortion for breakfast" justice? How will the unpolished, self-made, pulled-up-by-his-bootstraps clerk from the 'hood cope with life among the wealthy elite? It writes itself. Extremely poorly.

As I said to JMV, I'm not going to watch this show, but I will enjoy watching it get pulled after four episodes (assuming it even gets picked up).

* I only know of one failed Supreme Court TV show (I believe it starred Joe Mantegna), but my co-clerk informs me there was another.

Posted by hb at January 8, 2007 09:18 PM

Comments

It's not like tv hasn't been willfully misrepresenting jobs since the beginning of tv.

Posted by: C on January 9, 2007 12:18 PM

There was the Supreme Court show on CBS that had James Garner that was trying to compete with West Wing and didn't even finish a season. Other than that, I don't remember any other SCTV shows. In fact, the only judge-centric TV show I can think of would be Judging Amy, but I won't watch that garbage either.

Posted by: Ben N. on January 9, 2007 12:39 PM

I predict that the six clerks will live in adjoining apartments, hang out at a nearby coffee shop all the damn time (instead of a bar and/or opium den like normal twenty-somethings), and never do any work or attend the office unless it's dramatically appropriate. There might also be a monkey.

Posted by: didofoot on January 9, 2007 02:42 PM

Oh come on! Novel Writing was one of my favorite bits! I would completely watch that show.

Posted by: E. McPan on January 9, 2007 06:14 PM

I can't believe you aren't going to support this show. I know you're married, so the chick factor is minimal, but think about what Gray's Anatomy has done for every male resident in every hospital in the country. It's turned them into sex objects. Now think of your friend wt.

Posted by: wt on January 17, 2007 09:39 PM

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