I Fought the Law

Expando-Pants

Today, I am wearing a new pair of pants, which is a big deal for me since my visceral hatred of shopping for clothes makes the probability of me having a new pair of pants at any given time extremely low. I bought these particular pants on sale at Macy*s, and got what I consider a very good bargain. They are, as usual, too long in the leg, since I'm a somewhat stubby man. I haven't taken them to the local haberdasher to have them shortened, and I probably never will.

The gimmick with these particular pants is a secret extra two inches of waist size, installed via two concealed bits of elastic. This means that the true waist size is actually a range, the lowest value being the number printed on the tag (x), and the highest value being x + 2. It was the marked-down price, and not this quantum mechanical waist size, that persuaded me to buy the pants, but I still think it's pretty neat.

If my dry cleaner were to lose these pants, however, I would not sue them for tens of millions of dollars.

Posted by hb at June 21, 2007 08:49 AM