WT was kind enough to invite me to play Ultimate Frisbee this morning in Golden Gate Park. Serenaded by the DJ for the nearby base for the NAMI charity walk, we hurled our novelty flying disc hither and yon, and my team got positively beasted by the other team (at least until halftime when I left -- I have every reason to believe that they turned things around once they were rid of my deader-than-dead weight). I think WT set it up that way on purpose, but I'll never be sure.
In any case, I have compiled the below McSweeneiyeys-style list that encapsulates what I learned from my first Ultimate Frisbee experience:
Battle Tactics in Order of Decreasing Effectiveness in Ultimate Frisbee and Increasing Effectiveness in Science Fiction and Fantasy Stories
Waving your arms
Limiting frontal assaults to the outside lanes
Communicating with teammates in Klingon
Exploiting the principles of angular momentum
Communicating with teammates in Elvish
Unexpected arrival of last-minute reinforcements
Communicating with teammates in Chakobsa
"The enemy's gate is down."
Reprogramming the simulator
* As an IP geek I'm always a stickler for trademark issues, and the official title of the game is, indeed, "Ultimate," because "Frisbee" is a trademark.