[Watching the baby eagerly shove his fists into his mouth.]
Me: This boy's going to be a thumbsucker.
Her: I was a thumbsucker. That's why I needed braces.
Me: I never sucked my thumb because I didn't like getting saliva all over my hand. So I would just hold my thumb between my teeth.
Me: It was all well and good until that time in Verona when I was doing it and this guy came up to me and said, "Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?", and I said, "I bite my thumb," and he said "Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?", and I said, "I bite my thumb, I don't know what you want from me," and then Benvolio tried to smooth things over but there was a big swordfight and then my cousin fell in love with some chick and killed himself.
Her: What the hell?