My hate affair with Kingdom of Loathing finally came to a head today, and I've decided to stop playing indefinitely (conditions below). I've been playing this stupid game for a few weeks with marginal yet undeniable interest, recognizing all along that the game has numerous flaws that make it rather unpalatable to the likes of me. First off, the self-limiting nature of the available playing time is extremely aggravating. 40 adventures is good for about 25 minutes of play on a good day, and while you can get more adventures by eating and drinking, eventually you get "full" and "too drunk" to continue even building adventures that way. And that is severely lame.
In addition, the game suffers from the fatal flaw of so many role playing games, the thing that has made generations of Final Fantasy and Dragon Warrior players throw their hands up in the utmost despair: those long, tedious stretches where all you can do is fight creatures to gain experience and money (or, in the tragically clever world of KoL, "meat") in order to advance your character. This wouldn't be so bad if you could actually spend a few hours on it on any given day, but the fact that you have to build experience in such limited daily stretches makes it all the more aggravating. Again, profoundly lame.
There's more to complain about, but I've been able to deal with these things until now. Once I figured out a few things I could do (with the help of word-of-mouth from fellow clan members, as opposed to the game itself), I looked forward to strategically visiting various locales in the game to gather the necessary items to advance my character. Today, I spent about 100 adventures (two days' worth, plus some pizza and alcohol) trying to build a stupid meat car. I fought and fought (and fought) in Degrassi Gnoll (badum), where the Council of Loathing promised that I could get car parts. I gathered enough cogs, springs, sprockets, tires, and meat tanks for a fleet of meat cars, but couldn't get a god damn set of "sweet rims" to finish the project. Not a single one.
Dejected, I laid my character to rest for the day and started a new character, just for the fun of it. In the course of completing the initial errands for the stupid bird on the stupid mountain I discovered that the "sweet rims" were, in fact, inexplicably hidden in the hermit's hoard. Excited, I logged back on with my more experienced (though, for the day, adventureless) character to try and get the stupid rims from the stupid hermit. I bought a stupid hermit permit, visited the hermit, and remembered that the stupid hermit doesn't take meat. He only takes "worthless trinkets," of which I had none. I searched the town's available markets, along with the clan stash, and found no worthless trinkets. So I can't make the stupid car until I get a stupid trinket, and I'll be damned if I'm going to wander aimlessly, killing punnily named creatures, until I happen to win one in a battle.
I feel that I've put up with enough bullshit to get a meat car. And I'm not playing again until I'm sure the first thing I can do when I log on is get a worthless trinket.
If you're interested in a game that'll actually leave you with a fleeting sense of fulfillment, I suggest Peasant's Quest courtesy of the Homestar boys. KoL has also lifted a number of jokes from Homestar (as part of their unbelievably original idea of filling their game with obscure pop-culure references), so playing a Homestar game is also more legit in that respect.
And seven curses with it.
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