Day 30

| 11 Comments

What do I hate most about Palo Alto? Is it the fact that my wife and I can't go out to dinner on a Saturday night without making a reservation? The fact that even if we do get a reservation, we inevitably end up sitting next to a loud pair of Stanford pukes having a $90 dinner on daddy's credit card? The fact that the street signs can only be interpreted by people with a rare recessive gene that I don't seem to have? The total lack of convenient, affordable public transportation to anywhere with a semblance of human culture? The fact that the traffic lights are seven minutes long and always know when I'm coming? The fact that all coffee shops close at 7:00 p.m., even on Friday? Is it any of these things?

No. The one thing I hate most about Palo Alto is the weather. It's the completely unexplainable phenomenon that, even if it's pissing down rain, there is never a complete cloud cover over Palo Alto. There's always an obtrusive chunk of blue sky peeking through the darkest, surliest storm clouds, so if I ever think of opening my office blinds before 1:00 p.m., I will be blinded by the oppressive rays of Earth's yellow sun, seemingly magnified several times. I can only assume that the Stanford Linear Accelerator, that bastard step-brother of the Cyclotron, is actually blowing a hole in the Earth's atmosphere, leaving a gaping vacuum in the sky over our fair city. That's the only possible explanation.

11 Comments

Aw. Is it really that bad? I can't comment on the affordable public transportation thing, since I ride the train/bus for free. Of course, I live in Menlo Park, and it's much cooler than Palo Alto.

Have you tried Nora's Cafe on California? They've got a good steak frites.

"The fact that the street signs can only be interpreted by people with a rare recessive gene that I don't seem to have?"

I smell city of the future!

Also, my "I" key is getting knd of stubborn, so if I say something stupid and I-less while making a joke DON'T LAUGH AT ME.

DAMMIT

Also: are steak frites different than steak fries? I assume they cost more?

Are you saying that you're color blind?

I'll have to check out Nora's. I'm always up for a good fried steak.

I'm not color blind, I just happen to be a member of the genetically disadvantaged portion of the population that sees "El Camino Real -->" when other Palo Altoans see some secret code that shows them the real way to get to ECR.

But I am colorblind when it comes to people. Everyone looks Asian to me.

Steak frites = steak and fries. Not steak fries, not fried steak. Nora's Cafe is a French bistro place in the business district of Palo Alto. The mussels are cheaper at Left Bank, but the steak's cheaper at Nora's. Funny how that works.

Er, if you're into French food. There seems to be a lot of it in the MP/PA area.

So in Frenchglish you just string words together without conjunctions? Steak frites?

Steak-frites is a common cafe meal of boneless steak cut into big strips, covered in a red wine-based bearnaise sauce and then hidden under a heaping pile of hot, non-greasy fries that are great for dipping into the bearnaise or mayo. I'd say it's the bearnaise that defines steak-frites and makes it way more yummy than regular steak and fries, fried steak or steak fries. As for conjunctions, I think the French see them as dispensible in favor of hyphens and/or good ol' improper use of the language (slang).

What Kristina said.

So wait, do you like Palo Alto or not?

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on March 14, 2006 7:27 AM.

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