I Fought the Law

I understand your pain. We get a large number of wrong numbers here becuase our last 4 digits end in 7000 and a lot of people hit their 0's too many times. Today I got a wrong number and he asked me where he was calling and I told him Maine and he became very flustered. Don't ask me how he screwed that one up.

yesterday I called our board chairman on his cell and when he answered I said "Hi Sam, I'm sorry to call you on your cell but I just wanted to let you know that the binder you wanted me to send with Morgan isn't going to be ready. Do you want me to Fedex it?"

there was this loooong pause and then the other person hung up. I'm pretty sure i called a wrong number, but who can say really.

Actually, I just remembered that I have a tragic/great string of wrong number stories. When I lived on Parker Street I once came home to find a message on my answering machine from a woman who wanted me to perform the last rites for her dying sister. I think I had mono at the time so I didn't have the energy to call her back, but she called again later that day to correct her mistake.

A few weeks later I got a call from someone looking for Sacred Heart Catholic Church (which, oddly enough, was the name of the church where I was confirmed). It turned out that the church's phone number was the same as mine, except that it began with 655 instead of 665.

After I figured this out I got a few more calls from parishioners in search of church information, and I would always give them the correct number. I figure this makes up for me not having observed Lent since high school.

I got a string of phone calls one night on my cell phone from two different numbers, but from the same people. Maybe they thought if they changed the phone number they were calling FROM, they would get the right person on the other end of the line. MORONS. It gets better - they were looking for something named "Little Dreamer."

None of you will believe my favorite wrong number story but I'll tell it to you anyways. I got a message on my machine from some woman I had never heard from before. She went on to describe really horrible sexy naughty fantastic things that she wanted to do to... whomever she was trying to reach. It ended with a "call me and I'm really horny" but alas she never left a number for me to call back. I wanted to save the message becuase I knew no one would believe me but in the process of doing that I ended up deleting it. Suuuuck.