I am now a citizen of the Republic of Ireland. Well, to be precise, I became an Irish citizen on February 11, 2008 (or "11 February 2008," as they say in Ireland), according to the handwritten certificate I received today that's apparently an official and very, very important document. I was able to obtain this citizenship by virtue of the fact that my grandmother was born in Ireland, and as a reward for my dogged persistence in the herculean task of gathering all the necessary paperwork and documentation.
I'm also still a U.S. citizen. My citizenship, much like a photon, has an undeniable degree of duality. I shall behave as an American when it suits me, and as a filthy Irishman when circumstances warrant. I believe my newfound citizenship entitles me to double my current beer intake and cheat on my wife. I will also require a daily serving of sweet brown bread lest I fall victim to a debilitating wheat deficiency.
The next step will be to apply for an Irish passport, which will take another needlessly long amount of time (the citizenship application took about thirteen months to process). Once I have my passport I can go anywhere in the European Union. At that point, I will move to Eastern Europe, grow a mustache, change my name to Yngve, and disappear forever.
Erin Go Bragh!