So this happened.
This kind of shit really, really, really pisses me off. In fact, there's not a single thing about it I don't hate. Let's go point by point.
I certainly don't consider myself to be a person governed by traditional morality, but even I get really angry when I hear about professors banging students. I'm not going to get on some high horse here, I'm just saying that, as inappropriate consensual sex acts between adults go, professor-student ranks pretty high on the list. If anyone out there is suffering from the delusion that the "single consensual encounter" between Dean Dwyer and the unnamed student was anything more than the indulgement of a pathetic power fantasy (on both sides), I'll point out that true love can wait until after graduation. So, it would seem, can sexual harassment reports (see below).
But really, it's the hearing about it that I mind more than the banging. The Daily Californian, shining bastion of journalistic incompetence, got something out of this that makes every newspaper editor drool: A banner headline with the word "sexual" in it. I'm increasingly glad that Berkeley continues to use its status as Home of the Free Speech Movement to fill its deplorable newspaper with cheap, non-substantive sex while student publications who push the limits of free speech in courageous, insightful ways are consistently swatted down by campus politicians.
And then there's our sainted victim, who was so deeply violated by the Big Bad Dean's sexual predation that she went right out and filed a report against him. Two years later.
That said, I'm not asking for much sympathy for Mr. Dwyer himself, who knew exactly what the fuck he was getting into, knew that to keep your job after getting head under your desk you have to be an extremely popular world leader, and should have kept it the fuck in his pants. But, to be fair, you can tell he's been deeply affected by this and has learned his lesson:
"I acknowledge that this reflected a serious error in judgment on my part and was inappropriate," Dwyer wrote in an internal memo to the Boalt Hall community. "I believe I can no longer effectively lead the school."
Accordingly, following his immature, inexcusable abuse of power, he promptly resigned from his position as head of one of the nation's leading law schools. Two years later.
I was going to turn this around into a light-hearted revenge plot against schools that rejected me, but after writing all of this I'm too depressed. Maybe a little later.