Office Decor


Side note: I remain open to your futile attempts to convince me that I'm wrong about the new Star Wars movie. Lord knows there's nothing I enjoy more than complaining. But for a change of pace, this is a post about office decorations.

Despite the fact that I'm nearly five months away from my official start date at the old law firm, I've already amassed a nice starting collection of office what-nots. In addition to Owly the Graduation Owl and numerous photos of Meli, the cats, and my more attractive friends, I also have the little placard I picked up in Munich that says "Trinken Sie niemals Wasser, Fische vogeln darin" ("Never drink water, fish fuck in it"). The whereabouts of this placard are currently unknown, which may be God's way of telling me that I should have purchased the sticker of the jelly donut with the cartoon face saying "Ich bin ein Berliner."

There's also the 10" bronze statuette of Justice that my grandparents gave me, which looks like this:

But the current pride of my collection just arrived in the mail today. It's a poster that I first spotted at the Velvet Grill in Alameda, a diner where Meli and I used to eat fattening breakfasts on a weekly basis. Put simply, it's two bananas about to have sex on a bed that's a pie crust, with a cherry watching them. No, really:


This apotheosis of graphic art is presently hanging framed in our bedroom, eagerly awaiting October 17th, when it will move to a cozy little office in Menlo Park and act as the first step in the long road toward getting me fired.


From my informal sampling of people who disliked Episode III, all I can suggest is that you get straight to the multiplex and watch you some UNLEASHED (starring Jet Li), because everybody except for you who has complained about Episode III has also raved about Unleashed.

Beyond that hopefully helpful suggestion, I don't think there's any more productive discussion to be had.

Nice banana porn.

I showed this to my 3 office mates this morning. One of them knows Matt personally and took it in stride. The other two were still reeling from my rendition of Matt's lyrics to Manilow's "Lola" ("She had a cock shaped/like a banana..."), and were thrown by the further sexualization of palm fruits.

To restore your faith in Vader:

That's a glorious story. The thing about the kid being afraid of him is good enough to carry the whole affair, but the surprise vandalism at the end is just delicious.

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on May 23, 2005 10:45 PM.

Further Thoughts on Why I Hated It was the previous entry in this blog.

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