Our Giant Cats


I often talk about how unreasonably large our cats are, but am often met with skepticism and incredulity. Unfortunately, even when people visit us in person, they often don't get a sense of Pepe's size, because he's so shy around strangers that he literally curls up into a ball (like a Popple -- remember Popples?) when we pick him up and show him to guests. Accordingly, this weekend Dr. M and I set out to take photographs of our cats that convey their sizes through the use of points of reference.

First up is Ruby, alongside a standard twelve-inch ruler (the ruler has my dad's name on it, which I blurred out, but otherwise the photo is unaltered):

As you can see, Ruby is rather large. Not as big as Pepe, though. Here's Pepe trying to open the sliding glass door:

Two apartments ago, Pepe used to sit by the door and stand up and bat at the doorknob every time we walked by. One time he actually undid the deadbolt, which was several inches above the knob. Pepe is a large cat.

Here's Pepe with the ruler (we waited all weekend to find him stretched out like this):

That should give you an idea. I think if Pepe wanted to kill us he probably could.


I once took a picture of one of my cats stretched out, and he was nearly as long as the rug at the foot of the bed.

Gia is also on the grande side. I think she is part Maine Coon cat. She may also be slightly portly (but you try telling her that!)

My old cat Samson was definitely on the stout side. When the vet told me he needed to lose a few, I told him that Samson "just has a small head."

How long have you had that ruler?

About twelve years.

How much do they weigh?

When cats are sitting on the foot of the bed staring up at you all tucked under the covers, you know what they are thinking?

If I was 200 pounds heavier, you would be breakfast!

bd -- Pepe is at least eighteen pounds. Ruby is about twelve. Pepe doesn't seem to realize that he's 150% the size of Ruby, as often he'll pin her to the ground while they're rassling, she'll start crying, he won't figure out that she can't get away, and I have to intervene.

You too are huge, not only the cat!!

What do you feed your cats? Staroids!

Fuckin fat, hairy, pussies are all over the place nigga!!


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This page contains a single entry by hb published on February 25, 2007 4:29 PM.

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