UPDATE: View this entry in strip form.
My law firm just sent me a big box of junk food for finals. It arrived unexpectedly via FedEx yesterday with a suspicious-sounding return address "Big Frey Promotional Product," Elk Grove Village, Illinois, so I thought it was a bomb. I shook it and pointed it away from myself as I opened it, before finding that it was a much slower means of death - heavy doses of trans-fatty acids!
Here's what will be fueling my disastrous slide into finals despair for the next two and a half weeks:
One bag Lay's potato chips
One bag Doritos Nacho Cheesier! tortilla chips
Two number two pencils(!)
One six-pack of Oreo cookies
Two Snickers Bars (rrrrr!)
One Twix Bar (score!)
One bag M&Ms (Molly and I were thinking of serving M&Ms at our wedding, actually. I thought it would be funny to serve Skittles instead and the motion died in committee)
One bag Zoo Animal Crackers
One raspberry Tootsie Pop
One bag Snyder's of Hanover mini pretzels
One Quaker Chewy chocolate chip granola bar
One pink "Longest Lasting*" hi-liter
One package microwave popping corn
One Rice Krispies treat
This is a strategic move on their part. If I experience a sugar crash in the middle of my Antitrust final and send my GPA down the turlet, I'll lose all lateral mobility and be stuck at my firm forever. Forever! Curse you and your secuctive refined sugars and fats! Curse you, I say!