July 24, 2005

It Tastes Like Vanilla. It Tastes Exactly Like Vanilla

Now that I've graduated from UC Berkeley twice, I'm really losing patience with college hangouts.

Dr. M and I just got back from Yogurt Park, where there was a line out the door. Sure, whatever, it's probably an orientation weekend and the kids like the yogurt. As it turns out the initial delay was being caused by a self-important young woman who insisted on sampling half the flavors before making her decision. Whatever. There were only six flavors and it didn't take that long. Then a pair of sun-bleached surfers approached the counter and, after some initial hemming and hawing, asked for another two samples.

Side note: Today's flavors were English toffee, Irish mint, caramel fudge eclair, fresh strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla. The initial sampler was double-fisting some Irish mint and eclair action, which was understandable since those are some freaky flavors. The surfer woman, who judging by the sound of her voice had smoked her weight in marijuana during her lifetime, asked to sample vanilla. Then she changed her mind and asked to sample chocolate. Her request to add five minutes to everyone's evening in order to feel out the two most common dessert flavors in the known universe lent more creedence to my ganja hypothesis.

Apparently her evening would have been ruined if she had momentarily forgotten what chocolate tasted like and mistakenly ordered it, not realizing she didn't like it. I'm glad that she forestalled that particular catastrophe, but a small part of me still hopes she immediately dropped her yogurt into the gutter upon leaving the store and then got hit by a bus trying to retrieve it.

Oh, and once she made her decision after much weighty deliberation, she took a few extra minutes to have the bewildered yogurt barista explain a few of the more outre toppings to her before settling on Reese's Penisbutter Cups.

Yes, I'm getting a little edgy as the count-down dwindles. I do not ask for your pardon, for soon the Black Tongue of Mordor may be heard throughout Middle Earth. That's right, even here in Rivendell you smug elf bastard.

Posted by hb at July 24, 2005 07:36 PM

Comments

OK I had to speak up here b/c I worked at Yogurt Park when I was a freshman and have tasted every flavor 50 times. For whatever stupid reason, there are like 10 different kinds of vanilla and chocolate (each). And some are delicious, and some are terrible. French Vanilla is excellent, while Vanilla Creme tastes like plastic. I forget the names of the other types of Vanilla but I can guarantee there are at least 7.

But at the same time I recognize this is only an advisory opinion, because you rightly decided this case on the adequate and independent grounds that anyone who asks for more than one sample (especially when there is a LINE) should be taken out back and beaten severely.

It's a $2 cup of yogurt. If you choose a flavor you don't like without sampling it first, chances are it's not going to materially affect the rest of your life.

Posted by: GG on July 24, 2005 08:34 PM

Oh Vanilla Classic is the other one that's good. Most of the other Vanillas taste like chemicals or plastic.

Posted by: GG on July 24, 2005 09:08 PM

A) "Sun Bleached" was a charitable description.

B) I wanted to know what made the "Irish Mint" Irish. To me, that's a dressed up version of "Vanilla Mint"

Posted by: m on July 24, 2005 09:21 PM

Was it booze?
"Irish" always means booze, or drunk, or "boozy drunk belligerent thug."

Posted by: jmv on July 25, 2005 10:44 AM

No, and that's why it's suspicious. It's just nonfat frozen yogurt, which is the opposite of booze. The exact opposite.

Posted by: m on July 26, 2005 02:45 PM

Maybe it's vanilla with freckles.

Posted by: sean on July 26, 2005 03:21 PM

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