But Can You Eat PIE?

Wait, you have time to come up with this hair-brained nonsense but no time to provide your loyal readers with an original strip for the week. For shame! In addition, I think Scalia could take you down on this one. However if you face off in D.C. tell Kennedy to get out of my fucking chair.

I'd have to agree with Livingston there, Mat. Scalia could toally take you in a pie-eating contest. I bet that man has been speed-eating whole pies for years; he obviously has no conscience or shame .

"Scalia said that by adopting this judicial philosophy, he is often treated as if he were 'eating little babies.'"
Dude, pies are going to be a piece of cake for this guy.

Do you actually send these things?
And yes. You will get 0wnz0r3d

here's what i'd like to stay to my future pie-eating adversary and other pro-sodomy-law jurists. okay, so you criminalize sodomy because you don't want sodomy to happen. fine. what the hell do you think is going to happen when these people get to prison? you're punishing consensual sodomy with non-consensual sodomy! you're making MORE sodomy! switch to a fine, you short-sighted reacharounds!

h. brockholst, i await your counter-analogy.

Boo Hoo, sodomists get raped. Boo Hoo, they get sodomized. When your dad catches you smoking cigarettes he doesn't deter you by expressing his opinion about how smoking is bad for your health. He makes you smoke four packs of cigarettes and you never want to see one again. Why can't Scalia and the rest of his band of merry men use the same philosophy of deterrence as your dad would?

having put that baby to bed, let us return once again to my contest against scalia. apparently you naysayers have never seen what i can do to a box of donuts on a bad day. scalia lacks in fortitude what he may have in capacity. we'll see which one of us ends up eating a pig word-pie after the contest is over.

in the words of 311, "F--k the naysayers 'cause they don't mean a thing. This is what style we bring."*

*meant good-naturedly, lest i spark a flame war.

Stated in person, but worth repeating: I'm not sure that quoting 311 really furthers your argument here.

be that as it may, i'll remind you that "You've got to trust your instincts and let go of regret. You've got to bet on yourself now, star, 'cause that's your best bet. Watch me now..."

Well, as they say, "even the losers get lucky sometimes."

I hope this means that when Matt comes to eat pies against Justice Scalia, he's coming original.

amber will be the color of the apricot pie that seals my victory over justice scalia.

Yeah, tell that Scalia that guns are for pussies , but pie eating contests are for real men!

what the hell is this weird website? I just googled for "i want to eat pie" and got this. Its scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what i find more disturbing is your need to inform the internet of your desire to eat pie.

mmmm...pie.

haha this is hilarious.

I just googled for "I want to eat pie", and I found this website. And lo and behold, the phrase I found was ME saying that "I just googled for "I want to eat pie"
!!!
!!!
!!!
Scary.

It's just up there, july 23rd. I posted it in July... it's november now. lol.

what's scary is that after five months you're still clinging to the hope that the internet will somehow help you eat pie. go to a bakery! they have pies for days over there.

What really delights me is that I Fought The Law is now the top google result for "i want to eat pie" on the entire internet. Fame! Fortune! It's right at your door! Soon people will be coming to your page for pie not once every five months, but once every FOUR months!

and as of 12/8, the top google for "I want to eat pie" is carthage. I am the king of pie, and I don't even like it that much. I should do more work at my job.

god damn it.

That sucks :'(

whats wrong with u ppl!!!!????

I AM THE MONKEY! I CAN GO ANYWHERE! SURE I CAN GEORGE!

who cares about some retard who wants to eat pie in sum fucking weirdass contest how did u manage to keep people posting on this right up 2 december and now fucking august of the next year
r u mentally challenged or summat

y i believe u can monkey yes

I CHALLANGE U ALL 2 A COMPITION ON WHO IS THE BETTER MONKEY! I THINK ULL ALL FIND THT I WILL WIN!

is this like the local mental homes official site wherever u freaks all live?

i am THE MONKEY! i can go ANYWHERE! i am THE MONKEY! i can go ANYWHERE! i am THE MONKEY! i can go ANYWHERE! so MEH!!! YEH THTS RIGHT! MEH! MEH 2 U ALL!! MEH! MEH! MEH! U FUCKING FREAKS!

" CAN YOU EAT PIE? " u ask me. ......FUCKING WELL DONE!!!WHO THE FUCK CANT EAT PIE U KNOB JOCKEYS!U SHOULD ALL B FUCKING TIED 2 POST IN KENYA AN RAPED BY MAD BEARS TILL UR TOES FALL OFF!

meh i say to toe raping! meh and feh! feh i say to bears wearing fezeseses! feh!

(do the knob goblins have horse races?)

Michelle r u a lesbein? AN ITS KNOB JOCKEY NOT GOBLIN!

*snort*

I love this thread. But I'm unsure whether "Michelle r u a lesbein" is supposed to be a hopeful inquiry, or a devastating insult.

its not an insult i was jus wunderin if she had any home videos

initially i scoffed to myself, then remembered that she did actually star in a film called 'superfreaks.'

Also, in regard to the toe raping, some European country (Denmark? Holland?) is launching a serious investigation into its national laws after discovering that unsolicited toe-licking is not yet designated a crime. A man was arrested for sneaking up to women on the beach and licking their toes, but authorities couldn't find any applicable law under which to prosecute him.

wow, you have posted a comment that is almost relevant to this site. that's not the CH way, dianna.

ehhh....i said fuck all about toe rapeing.....i said " RAPED BY MAD BEARS TILL UR TOES FALL OFF " nuthin about 2 rapein u retards

how many mad bear rapes does it take for one's toes to fall off? the world may never know.

by the way, are you british? in which case, trousers fortnight petrol lift! boot.

telly. uh, chips? bangers and mash. especially the mash. annnnd... wizard toast. i guess.

Monkey and i are british but what does toe raping mad bears and the fact tht we are british have to do with u dumbassed shits having some pie eating contest

y did u bother with this thing anyway y didnt u just have ur contest and then let life go on as normal is there a point to this thing

one last one before i go who are u ppl and where are u from and y are pie eating contests so favourable there
????????

we're americans, from america, and pie-eating contests are favoured because it's the only way to truly embrace the frontier spirit and escape our shameful, colonial past. at age 14 all able-bodied men are made to eat their own weight in pie, lest they be tarred a "foppish dandy" by the local gentry.

in addition, judge succession in our court system is based on a modified system of trial by ordeal. the only way to unseat a sitting supreme court justice is by besting him or her (usually him) in a pie-eating contest. it's an odd system, but if it ain't broke...

u americans must b fat bastards eatin all those fucking pies. i mean , its a total waste of life wen ppl devote themselfs 2 eatin pie?! is tht ur job?!? fucking weirdos! U ALL NEED 2 FCKING GET OUT MORE!!!WHO THE FUCK STAYS IN ALL DAY EATIN PIES XEPT U!?! XACTLY! NO1!! U FUCKN LAZY ARSEHOLES!!! GO OUT AN GET A PROPER JOB!!! U BUNCH OF SAD GAYLORDS!

I have never seen anyone so angry about pie in my life. This is fantastic.

THE MONKEY is my new favorite random poster. we love you, monkey. come to america. we will feed you pies. possibly at gaylords.

p.s. from now on i'm no longer a lesbian but a "lesbein", pronounced, in my book, lez-bean.

ah, life is sweet. sweet like pies.

Better to be a lez-bean than a has-bean! Ding!

u people make no sence.

bewildered by the constant topic changes of the hunters, the monkey gradually calms down. the hunters fan out to surround him, preparing the nets...

...but then get distracted by the sounds of their own rumbling stomachs, put down the nets and wander away in search of pie. Blood will out, as they say, and for all their training and discipline the children of 10 generations of pie-eaters cannot be other than pie-eaters.

One day, we'll listen when the rest of the world tells us that this pie culture we have built will defeat us in the end.

HAHA SHITHEADS,
THE MONKEY KICKS ASS AND HE HAS EATEN MORE PIES THAN YOU EVER WILL.
AS OF NOW THE MONKEY IS THE PIE KING,
LONG LIVE MONKEY

OH my god,
youse are all American, toe-licking, pie munching, un-educated, random knob-goblins.
So get a bloody life and eat your protein you sad freaks.

Only 2 types of ppl in this world are allowed to like pie,
1. The weebl and bob ppl
2. Sad arsed Americans.

i wonder what you lot are?

Our dog is two miles wide, and all he talks about is pie.

I should make another pie. I wasn't particularly satisfied with the peach one I made on Saturday, which is unsurprising because I was kind of rushed in making it. Good pie takes time, man.

You defeated the Toe-Licking, Pie-Munching, Un-Educated, Random Knob-Goblins.

You gain 4 Muscle.
You gain 18 Smarm.

who defeated the Toe-Licking, Pie-Munching, Un-Educated, Random Knob-Goblins,

answer that!

ps. are u american dudes more in favour of george dubya or the other long faced dude.

I love how far off the subject this string has gone. This is about Mat getting a one-up on Scalia the only way he can; mass consumption of pies. Perhaps Dubya and Kerry should just have a pie eating contest to decide who will be our next president; better that than a keg-stand contest because you KNOW Dubya would win that one!

dubya would win the pie eating contest too. kerry is a new england dandy.

I think Kerry could do it; provided the pies were filled with Heintz ketchup.

John Kerry's pie-eating medals are based on lemon meringue he did not consume. Plenty of veterans ate as much pie as Kerry, but never got the same medals. In fact, there's very little proof that there was any pie at all on that fateful day. Maybe a quiche, perhaps a tart, but let's see Senator Kerry produce solid evidence of a pie tin before we make him Pie-Eater-in-Chief.

maybe unlike u saddos, Kery and Dubya have a life beyond pie. take the hint, instead of moaning about them start your own political party "sad assed pie munchers"

Who's "moaning" about them? You were the one who asked about them in the first place. You should go eat a pie; maybe it'll make you less grumpy.

I would just like to inform everyone that this thread was almost responsible for a busload of retarded children missing school the other day.

Chain of events went like this: Katie is awake at 5 AM and goes to check comments on Dianna's blog. Twitchy insomniac finger clicks on wrong thing from Cementhorizon page and ends up here. Laughs so hard laptop falls off lap onto hardwood floor and wakes entire house with loud cackling and crashing noises. Housemate who drives short bus for living can't get back to sleep, then can't wake up, then almost misses work. Autistic children nearly get a holiday.

Scalia; pie; toe-fucking; pie; sad American gaylords; "dubya or the other long faced dude"; pie: this is the best year-and-a-half-long thread ever.

are you kidding? this thread IS a busload of retarded children.

someday i'll drive this short bus to hawaii.

Katie, your short bus just made me spit tea all over my computer. If you're wondering why my emails smell herbal, now you know.

I would also like to note that this thread started on my 21st birthday. Hurrah.

Young'un!

Is that all you can think of to talk to Americans about, Dubya and Kerry? Okay, then, who do you think would win in a pie-eating contest: Tony Blair or Margaret Thatcher? How does that feel? Not so good, I bet.

Wow, short bus kids off school AND a keyboard full of tea. And I thought pie-eating contest ramifications were generally limited to stomachaches among the participants.

For the record, my money would be on Thatcher all the way. She's a steely bitch. No way she'd lose. (I mean, if she didn't finish the pie, they might actually donate it to poor people.)

i had a dog named after margaret thatcher once. an olde english sheepdog.

Well, okay fine. I guess that's all we can think to talk to you all about too. How's the queen?

the neighbors down the street met our maggie (dog) and fell in love. so they rushed out and bought her sister who they named after queen elizabeth, (lizzie).

i had a dog named oliver, but we had to get rid of it because it wanted to kill every irish person it saw.

Don't start that barking
I could bark all night
Unleashed I'd be stalking
Neighborhood Irish kids tonight

WHERES THE PIE? IM HUNGRY! WHO THE FUCK MADE UP THIS SITE IT SUCKS MONKEY ASS

It always comes back to pie, doesn't it? Mmmmmm... pie...

SEEKING YOUNG PIE LOVER THAT HAS THE SAME PROBLEM AS ME.. A BIG ASS

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

HEY DUMB ASS CRACKAS!! U SUC!!! HAVE FUN FUCKING YOURSELF!! WHO THE FUCK MADE UP THIS DUMBASS PIE SIGHT RETARDS!!!

ERICA GURL U R AWSOME!!! hehe ERIC U R HOT!!!

DO YOU LIKE PIE I LIKE PIE ESPACIALLY ONES THAT KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE DURING THEIR PREMARETEL SEX AND THEN GO FUCK SOME OTHER JACKAS FOR SOME FUCKING FAKE ASS MONEY SO THEY CAN GO GET A FUCKING BLOW JOB.

HElOOOOOOOOOOOO
This is that pie lover u wanted!
Ure a gay guy right, DUDE?

LANCE U R FUGLY!!! DEAL WITH IT!!!

OH YAH OF COURES YOU MOTHER FUCKER WHAT EALSE WOULD A MOTHER FUCKING PIE LOVER BE YOU ASS HOLE BITHCHY THINGY

NO IM NOT GAY!!!

eeew, my type DUDE!!!

Helu r u Gay?

Helu r u Gay?

OH DO YOU GIVE GOOD HEAD?

Hey DUDE, ure the fuckiest mother fucker I know... AAAAHHHHHHHH

YOU WANNA MEET UP TONIGHT

Thanx i no!!!

Sure, if ure in Mt Vernon OH DUDE,
But probably not. Its a fucky hick town in Ohio, u probably don't live there

im goin 2 the library 2day

im goin 2 the library 2day

Who r u?

Sure, how about the library

ok 6 at the mag room

is th@ ok?

Sure, METALLICA's kind of a twit,
But these new guys are really not it.
Now I'll scream and throw fits,
Yelling "Bring back the Brits!"
'Cause I'm really not feelin' this shit.

k meet u there @ 6 i got 2 go BYE!!!

You bumped my limerick off the front page, you fucker!

Is the hooking-up speech of British nationals protected under the Constitution of the United States of Mat? I think not. I strongly advocate deletion of said speech as IT'S A WASTE OF FUCKING SPACE!

Unless OH is an abbreviation for OxHamptonfordshire or something like that, they're not even Brits. They're Ohioans!

British, Ohioan... my prayer for relief stands.

What, this site's European. Yes Im from America u bitch.

Hey, DUDE sorry I can't make it to the library, got stuff I HAVE to do, but, hey, I know of a great gay bar just down the road where I live, could we hook up there?

Sorry I had to rush off, my unsuspecting wife almost caught me.

Talk to ya soon, bye SEXY ass hole

Hey, what the singin shit is this site about anyway?

My three top theories here are as follows:

1. One of these people is a Cementhorizon regular playing the role of Random Weird Internet Sex Person to see how much he/she can mess with the other person's head.

2. Both of these people are, unbeknownst to each other, Cementhorizon regulars playing the role of Random Weird Internet Sex Person to see how much they can mess with each others' heads.

3. They're the same person.

the sudden influx of these comments was rather baffling, until i saw dianna's theories. now i've got one: some european/ohioan has linked to this blog on their site, which happens to be run/frequented by library-sex-cruising pie-fanciers, under a heading like "can U believe WTF americans blog about ROFLMFAOMF" or however the jargon now goes. of course, the nice thing about the fact that these topics are all now so neatly contained in this thread is that now *all* pie-fanciers using good old google to cruise for library sex will end up here. it's all about bringing people together.

HEY SEXY PIE LOVER!!! R U OUT THERE?

HELO IS THERE ANY GAY GUYS LIK ME OUT THERE?

HELO IS THERE ANY GAY GUYS LIK ME OUT THERE?

I AM FEALIN HORNY

DUDE, fuck off.

ANY 1 WANTING CIBER SEX RIGHT NOW!!! I NEED 2 GET LAID!!! THE ANAS WAY!!!

I WANNO FUC U SO BAD RIGHT NOW

HEY MICHEL!!! I BET U R REALY HOT

dude, i totally am.

HI IM ME ANY ONE WANNA TALK TO ME YOU ME YOU LOVE ME YOU THINK IMWEIRD I BET YOU THINK I HAVE A BEARD MY NAME JOE I LIKE PIE ILL STICK A NEEDLE IN YOUR EYE SOMTIMES I FEEL LIKE I CAN FLY OR DIE MAKE RYE OR EVEN CRY I LIKE TO TIE MY SHOE HOW BOUT YOU

love me or love me not better love me

is sexy pie lover ther

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Eat my scivings

hi dude

r u gay sexy pie lover

ya

i luv sex do u want 2 do it wit me?

hi hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihih

Hey, lets work out a time k DUDE,
Hey, sex freek, does cyber sex turn u on?
I can find a site. Im feelin horny too.\
AAAAWWWWAAAAAA!!!!!!!
ASS HEAD!!

Fuck OFF. Do this on someone else's site.

You bitch, Im in LOVE.
NNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
IM JUST
HORNY!!!!!

Matt needs to lay down the ip-blocking-rocking-beats.

this i don't mind (remember, i'm a free speech maniac libertarian). it's just the "buy cialis" and "online gambling" goons i get rid of. it's not that i don't consider spamming to be a form of speech, it's that i don't consider spammers to be a form of human being. no free speech for sub-human life forms.

Sure, METALLICA's kind of a twit,
But these new guys are really not it.
Now I'll scream and throw fits,
Yelling "Bring back the Brits!"
'Cause I'm really not feelin' this shit.

dont dare dis the brits cos when your sad assed country goes to war who have u got to follow u in and in most cases get blamed, thats right our sad arsed government so without our tony blair's and maggie thatchers america would be the country who gets 100% of the blame like they deserve.
and as for the poetry you knob jockey try this:

There once was a girl who loved pie,
How i wished she would die.
She made fun of Brit's just like me,
There was one thing she couldn't see.
The brit she made fun of had a life.
Wider variety than a pie and a knife.
Never eat apples or bananas,
Sad arsed freak called Dianna.

Oh, good, you're back. Tell Monkey to get his ass over here so we can talk about pies some more.

Yes i'm bak, did u like my poem bitch.
Ill have u know i live on the same street as the monkey and he will cum back when he feels like it.
I know that he has a life unlike you and doesnt sit, eat pie, write about it on computer 24/7
so go to hell.

IM FUCKING BACK! BET U FUCKING MISSED ME BUT I CAN TELL U RIGHT NOW I DIDNT FUCKING MISS U! UR ALL A BUNCH OF SAD FUCKS WITH NUTHIN BETTER 2 DO!

"I'm an American Bad Ass
Watch me kick, you can roll with Rock
Or you can suck my dick
I'm a porno flick, I'm like Amazing Grace
I'm gunna fuck some hoes after I rock this place
Superfly living doublewide
Side car on my Glide so Joe C can ride
Fuckin sack to share, bringing flash and glare
Got the long hair swinging, middle finger in the air
Snake skin suits, 65 Chevelle
See me ridin in sin in the rebel yell
I won't live to tell, so if you do
Give the next generation a big FUCK YOU
Who knew I'd blow up like Oaklahoma
Said fuck high school, pissed on my diploma
Smell the aroma, Check my hits
I know it stinks in here, cause I'm the Shit"....Sung by Kid Rock

NOW THATS AN AMERICAN, NOT A PIE EATER, CASE CLOSED

I AM METALLICA AND AMERICAN_BADASS
SAME PERSON.
THE SONG U HAVE JUST READ IS WHAT A REAL AMERICAN SHOULD BE, SO ANALYSE THAT YOU SAD KNOB JOCKEYS!

OK DIANNA THIS IS IT,
I challenge you to a trans-atlantic battle, we must have a quiz to see who knows more about the opposite country ie. you answer questions about britain and i answer questions about america. we both decide the questions for the other person, 10 questions! you may pick 1 american to be on your side , i'll pick 1 brit, THE MONKEY.
May the best nation win!

this sounds exciting.

Will you be the rest of my team, Michele? C'mon. Do America proud.

Hey, DUDE, where'd ya go.
Ill get that gay bar's exact address and let ya know, k?
Yo, sex freek, where r u? I really need something, cyber sex or anything, I just had to do it with my wife, UHH. I need a REAL gay guy.
HHHHEEEELLLPPPP!!!!!!!

Ok please send your question sheets along with answers to purdo_lp@hotmail.com , in the quiz both contestants will be given 10 seconds to answer the question to prevent cheating on the internet.
GOOD LUCK.

TEAMS:
BRITAIN=The Monkey, METALLICA
AMERICA=Michelle, Dianna

Dianna, I'll be on your team if Michele hasn't responded in time.

holohan's ignorant prediction: brits and yanks alike enjoy a good laugh (or "larf") when the answer to all 20 trivia questions turns out to be "Pie."

I'd like to randomly comment that I don't like that "apple pie" is supposed to be traditional in and representative of the US. I hate apple pie; it's all about pecan. Awww... it makes me sad to think Holohan has never been able to partake of the goodness that is pecan pie.

Hey Sexy pie lover!!! r u gay lik me? if u r tell me and we can hav cyber sex anytime!!! i need a guy 2 ride ride ride if u no what i mean!! Oh yaaaaaaaa o my god!!!

Hey Sexy pie lover are you out there!!! ive ben wanting to talk to you!!

Newsflash: UK scientists develop internet trivia technology that allows rapid-fire real-time trivia contests between teams using the internet at different times in different time zones. President Bush speaks on behalf of all Americans when he says that we must not let this trivia technology arms race go on while we stand by and do nothing. Emergency legislation allocates $37 billion for research and development in 2005 (renewable yearly).

HEY IS ANYONE OUT THERE

Oh i love eating pie, especially apple, oh apple apple apple pie, YEEAAAH

Oh i love eating pie, especially apple, oh apple apple apple pie, YEEAAAH

"I'm an American Bad Ass
Watch me kick, you can roll with Rock
Or you can suck my dick
I'm a porno flick, I'm like Amazing Grace
I'm gunna fuck some hoes after I rock this place
Superfly living doublewide
Side car on my Glide so Joe C can ride
Fuckin sack to share, bringing flash and glare
Got the long hair swinging, middle finger in the air
Snake skin suits, 65 Chevelle
See me ridin in sin in the rebel yell
I won't live to tell, so if you do
Give the next generation a big FUCK YOU
Who knew I'd blow up like Oaklahoma
Said fuck high school, pissed on my diploma
Smell the aroma, Check my hits
I know it stinks in here, cause I'm the Shit"....Sung by Kid Rock

any comments on that, one great piece of work

i hate kerry do u stinkers ?

this is the most fascinating string of comments i've ever seen. i could write a fucking thesis about it. do you think the graduate school of eduction would go for it? kids like pie, right?

Erica you arsehole, every1 likes pie, but they arent fanatics, i mean what type of bloody drugs are you guys on????? PIE isn't worth dedicating your life to, get a job,get a friend, get a partner, get a dog, get a hobby get SOMETHING you knob-jockeys. It is time to move on from the stupid pastry that is also used to call a womans hole in britain.
besides has any1 ever heard the song mercyful fate by metallica?

i'm consistently amazed at how little one has to do to be dubbed an "arsehole" by these arbiters of appropriate pie consumption.

Now accepting bets on whether Katie's last post will earn her the even more coveted title of "fecking arsehole".... anyone?

i am delighted that one of my comments elicited "knob-jockeys" yet disappointed that it wasn't directed explicitly at me. what does it take, my pie eating metallica brit?

p.s. "arbiters of appropriate pie consumption?" nod, katie, nod.

p.p.s. i'm gonna go eat some pie now. maybe some pumpkin, maybe some pecan. maybe both, let them *jockey* around in my stomach together, eh? eh?

I want this to be the only google result for pie-faced knob jockeys.

Crawl! Googlebot, crawl!

In the meantime, I would just like to state for the record that michele makes some of the best cobbler I've ever had, and that pie stands down in the face of cobbler.

or in the cobbler-face of lawn jockeys who don't like pie.

mmm, cobbler.

hey, thanks!

METALLICA is a turd burglar.

Wow, youse guys get more of these weird advertising "comments" than anything I've ever seen before! The one about the meds is great for the conciseness and the grammatical incorrectness, but this one above has absolutely *choice* offerings. I particularly enjoy the following options:

"Ass wallpaper," "video nipples," "patricia heaton [aka the wife on Everybody Loves Raymond] stripped," [why???] "boob naked Sandra Bullock," "SUZANNE SOMERS GALLERY," [huh?] "fakes pictures Shirley Temple," [possibly the wrongest thing since Bush's re-election] and "Tit blowjobs silvia saint nipple," [what is a tit blowjob?].

Kudos, crazy comment-section-ad-spammer!

don't encourage them. is spent an hour last night deleting those goddamn spam comments one by one.

Forget the tit blowjob: Who the hell is Silvia St. Nipple?

I just noticed this.

It is time to move on from the stupid pastry that is also used to call a womans hole in britain.

Does that mean that to Brits this entry looks like it's about cunnilingus?

What an excellent image--Judge Scalia opening his mail and finding a challenge to eat...um...pie...

I can imagine the expression perfectly. I can also imagine him, after a moment of thought, rolling up his robes (in this scenario he's wearing nun-style wrist dickies) and clapping his hands together before saying loudly and with authority, "I accept!"

What would that be called--Scalia Does DC?

excuse me, Renee, but you are entirely too much on topic.

and just for the record:

pie! pie! pie!

pie eating knob jockeys!

cunnilingus knob cobbler!

"knob cobbler": erica, you genius, this is my favorite new term. (i'm thinking in this case "cobbler" means about the same thing as "pie?")

forget "makin' whoopee." that phrase has always creeped me out, and carries unfortunate but inevitable associations with whoopi goldberg. "makin' knob cobbler," on the other hand... i wonder how one goes about making lesbein knob cobbler?

I think you can use the regular knob cobbler recipe and substitute egg replacer for the penis.

so, what, like flax cobbler?

Mashed banana works pretty well too. But you have to make sure to use that only in the lesbein version, because otherwise it's hard to get the participants to agree to having their bananas mashed.

Did you guys know that this comment string is the highest rated soap opera in Thailand? Over there it´s called "Heart of Broken Wings."

I'm overwhelmed by pie mania!

I do love PIE.

I bet God eats PIE all the time.

i funcking love this pie banter in fact im going 2 stick my dick in a pie right now!

PIE IS A PIE SO EAT THE PIE YOU TURDS :)

I typed "I'm a knob jockey" into Google and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" key, and it came to this page.

I'm not quite sure why it brought me here.

Jesus christ, damn pie eating americans.