Apparently It's Important to Keep Needles in Your House


The night in addition to bringing me dreams about Christopher Guest and books written by my classmates also brought me a teeny tiny splinter. Since my tweezing proved futile, I got all MacGyver and used an unbent staple to free myself of the hated piece of wood. So I probably have tetanus now, but at least there's no wood in me.

But that's not what's important. What's important is that a classroom isn't a fucking library, so if you come to class early and expect everyone else to lick your balls and be quiet because you're studying, you're a pure uncut jack-ass.

But that's not what's really important. What's really important is the fact that today is the last day of class. Two weeks of finals hell and I'm working for the Man for eight weeks. O glorious day.

But that's not really what's really important. Really what's really important is that I'm seeing McSweenys vs. They Might Be Giants tonight, motherfuckers.

Smell things before you eat them.


Whhhaaaaaaaattt?!?! Where is TMBG playing?

Royce Hall at UCLA. ANNNNND I got a super-cheap student ticket.

You bastard. I demand that you kick one of the Dans for me. And have that Dan kick the rest of the Dans.

I also demand that you sing along with the silly "No!" children's songs.

To quote Zorak, of Space Ghost: Coast 2 Coast, "We have many demands, and they are very unreasonable."

Apparently this posting is a subtly worded signal. After hours spent on decoding, I can proudly present the essence of the original message:


when i saw TMBG in redlands (of all places) in 1994 i kept yelling "DESTINATION MOOOOOOOOOON!" between their songs. which prompted another audience member to counter with "DINNER BELL!" rather than politely inform us that neither song was on the playlist for that particular night, they just grew increasingly irritable and kept to their set.

so really, TMBG doesn't need any blog postings from me to rally geeks together.

Where did the whole "smell things before you eat them" thing start anyway? I remember you doing that as a small large-headed child.

And I would still like you to yell "snowball in hell" at somepoint during that show...

Matt's gigantic head needed nourishment, Jon. Given that in his baby pictures Matt is at least 30% head, it is understandable that his natural instinct was to inhale food first into his cranial cavity before sending the rest into his gastrointestinal tract.

SO, how the hell was the show??

john, you know that i am not a gushing man. i reserve my excessive displays of emotion for only the most magnanimous events, like the ending of the Pinky and the Brain Christmas special.

that being said,


i don't even know where to begin. i didn't know that much goodness could be squeezed into three measly hours without making the universe collapse. dave eggers' monologue was quite possibly the single funniest thing i have ever experienced in my life. and the band! oh, the band!

more later. i'm still coming down.

You said more later!

Come one, details, man! What was his monologue? Is he as drealy as all the literary school girls say he is? And the band??

that should be "dreamy"

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on April 24, 2003 9:31 AM.

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