Instant Cover Band Puff Piece


Attention music writers! Why waste time thinking up whole new sentences for the same old bands? Just use this handy-dandy form-article and your verbal talents will be gracing the pages of Rolling Stone, Spin, or Your shitty college newspaper in no time! Motherfucker!

[BAND NAME] Not Just Another Cover Band

[BAND NAME] has been topping the charts with their sassy cover of [COVER TITLE], a popular song by 80s ["musician"/"group"] [NAME]. But, unlike previous bands who broke through with covers such as Harvey Danger, Orgy, Alient Ant Farm, and [MOST RECENT WORN-OUT COVER BAND], these boys are here to stay.

"A lot of people think we came out with [COVER TITLE] just to make money," says frontman [FRONTMAN]. "But that's not the case. We recorded [COVER TITLE] because it's a great song and we have a lot of respect for [COVEREE NAME]. We've been playing the song for over ["one"/"three"/"five"] years."

Growing up in ["San Diego"/"Orange County"], [BAND NAME]'s innovative blend of punk, hip hop, and ["metal"/"ska"/"electronica"] was heavily influenced by [COVEREE NAME], among others.

When asked about the Cover Band Kiss of Death, [BAND NAME] were unconcerned. "We've worked to hard too just pop and fizzle with poppy cover," says guitarist [GUITARIST]. "We have something fresh to bring to the music scene, and we're not going away."

Whether the band's confidence is well-placed remains to be seen. Their next single, [SINGLE TITLE], is a hokey, uninspired love song scheduled to debut next month.


how depressingly true. the ataris, one of my favorite local santa barbara bands, had some cool music, but then they did a cover of a stupid don henley song and all of a sudden they're all over KROQ (of course, only the cover is played) and now i see their stickers on the back of trucks and cars all over south orange county.
it's depressing. they were good, though not well-known, then get all popular for a crappy cover...and i feel cheated. stupid orange county. stupid 80s covers.

What is up with all the Don Henley covers anyway? I swear I've heard 3 in the past week!

I'm telling you, it's enough to drive a woman to listen to talk radio!

At least you guys have a radio to complain about the music with. All I can do is complain about the lack of a radio in my car!

Julie and I have an extra hyundai radio/tapedeck if you want it. (and we can find it)

Matt, that's the funniest thing I read all week.

Your all nuts!!

The 'are you part of a poser rock band' questionaire

>Do you buy pre-trashed jeans?
>Are you a cover band?
>Do you try and cover up the fact that you're a cover band by referring to yourselves as a tribute band?
>Does your guitarist smash his guitar when he knows he can't afford a new one?
>Have you ever trashed a hotel room and then decided to clean it up so you were allowed back?
>Do you refer to the vehicle you tour in as vintage when deep down you know it's just rustic?
>Does your agent never call?
>Are you over 18 and live with your parents?
>Do you perform CKY like stunts as an attempt to look like a bigshot in front of chicks but then realise they're laughing at you and not with you?

If you answered yes to any of the above, your band sucks. Remember, smashing guitars and driving good cars won't make you a rockstar.

It is a fact of the music being totally comercialised having no meaning and all the artist being fake, for instance hip-hop: my opinion is that the whole "gangster" thing is an act, thus they become actors and star in movies like 8 mile and Friday.

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on July 29, 2003 12:05 PM.

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