Entertainment and Culture

Movie Theater Embodies Age-Old Struggle of Western Civilization

The movie selection at Berkeley's California Theater mirrors an age-old struggle of Western Civilization, a pretentious passer-by noted yesterday. The exterior of the theater displays posters for two competing films: Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, a devotional film dealing with the last hours of the life of Jesus Christ, and Secret Things, an erotic French import detailing the sexual exploits of two female office employees.

"So you have this Passion poster with this big picture of Jesus," the passer-by explained to disinterested fellow law students. "And then like ten feet further down is a poster of two girls making out in a supply closet. At first I thought the juxtaposition was strange, but then I realized, that's really what life's all about, isn't it? All of us, at some point, have to choose a life path. Do we choose the path of financial success and explicit sex, or a life devoted to religion and spirituality?"

UC Berkeley Religious Studies Professor Abraham Numrensen grudgingly agrees. "The bastard has a point," he explained to reporters. "I guess in some weird way the endless struggle between earthly delights and spiritual fulfillment could be summed up in a choice between Jesus and lesbians. But I just read The Da Vinci Code and apparently Jesus was a chick, so that really puts a whole different spin on it.