The Road Head Defense


This just in.

MIDDLETOWN, Connecticut (AP) -- A woman charged with causing a fatal car crash in 1999 says that she couldn't have been behind the wheel because she was performing a sex act on the driver at the time.

Heather Specyalski, 33, was charged with second-degree manslaughter in the crash that killed businessman Neil Esposito. Prosecutors allege that she was driving Esposito's Mercedes-Benz convertible when it veered off the road and hit several trees.

But Specyalski claims that Esposito was driving, and she was performing oral sex on him at the time, said her attorney, Jeremiah Donovan. He noted that Esposito's pants were down when he was thrown from the car.

The article goes on. I'd love to see this become a standard defense in all criminal and civil trials. "My client couldn't have been insider trading that afternoon, because he was going down on his wife on their way to a baby shower." "There's no way Mrs. Henderson could have knocked over that fence, and we've got the throat cultures to prove it." "The prosecutor put on a convincing case and a stirring closing argument. But in the end he couldn't overcome the dreaded Road Head Defense."


Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca performed oral sex on Han Solo while the Millenium Falcon was going through an asteroid field. Now think about it. That does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot-tall Wookiee, want to perform fellatio on a six-foot-tall human, even if the human had made the Kesel Run in less than twelve parsecs? That does not make sense!

If Chewbacca going down on Han Solo does not make sense, you must acquit. Here, look at the monkey.

Well i guess it does add an interesting subtext to the legalistic term "gag order"

A gag order is an order, sometimes a legal order by a court or government, other times a private order by an employer or other institution, restricting information or comment from being made public.

Gag orders are often used against participants involved in a lawsuit or criminal trial. They are also a tool to prevent media from publishing unwanted information on a particular topic.

I read the first sentence of that comment and thought to myself, "What's a gag order?" Fortunately there was the second paragraph. But at the end of that paragraph I thought, "How is a gag order used?" Fortunately, the third paragraph cleared that up.

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on March 3, 2004 6:06 PM.

Revenge of the Worst Lawyer in the History of the Future was the previous entry in this blog.

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