Boring Stories About My Cats: A Trip to the Vet


Today was vet day for Ruby and Pepe, hopefully for the last time in many years. The City of Alameda requires licenses for cats, which means seven dollars a year plus an up-to-date rabies certificate. These licenses are very real, and are not simply dog licenses with "cat" written in in crayon. In any case, we had to take the cats to get sticked today. Given the fact that Meli's mom's cat recently developed spinal sarcoma from the vaccinations she received years ago Meli and I are looking forward to relocating to a locale that has more modern and less cancerous policies regarding feline vaccinations.

In addition to the usual vet shenanigans we learned the following things today:

Pepe is still approximately 150% as big as his twin sister. A year ago Ruby was 7 pounds and Pepe was 11 pounds; today Ruby is 11 pounds and Pepe and his fat ass are 16 pounds. To be fair, Pepe also has a much larger frame. He can reach the doorknob when fully extended and often tries to tackle me by attacking my leg with his massive girth. To date he has yet to open the door or successfully bring me down. Large frame notwithstanding, Meli and I were chided for feeding them too much.

The goddamn cats have gingivitis. This means that Meli and I have to brush their teeth three times a week. A cat toothbrush is a long rubbery thimble kind of thing with tiny bristles on it that a dedicated cat owner slips onto his or her finger. After applying special (I shit you not) poultry-flavored toothpaste to the tiny bristles, you do your best to simultaneously immobilize the cat, pull up its lips, and scrub its tiny pointy teeth until it won't let you anymore. Ruby put of a ferocious fight, but Pepe was surprisingly receptive. I'm sure Pepe will have the last laugh years from now when he still has all his teeth and Ruby is sipping strained chicken from a water bottle.

Because this is National Dental Month (not to mention Black History Month and Month-Before-Girls' History Month), the vet also gave us special tooth-cleaning cat treats, presumably poultry-flavored as well, that are designed to get stuck in between cats' teeth and, well, clean things I guess. They're shaped like little Vienna sausages but have the consistency of wood, at least before finding their way into a cat's jaws. Again, Pepe was much more interested in oral hygiene than Ruby. He at least chewed it into pieces and let it fall out of his mouth a la Cookie Monster, whereas Ruby wouldn't give the things the time of day.

It remains to be seen whether we remain dedicated to our cats' toothal health. In the meantime we'll keep the poultry paste around in anticipation of an evening where someone is too drunk to find the human toothpaste.


I have totally had to brush my cats teeth with that poultry flavored goo and the rubber thimble brush.
Not a whole lot of fun, and pretty odd.

Why are you nude in your 'toonicon?

because i was naked when i made it, of course.

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on February 3, 2005 11:01 PM.

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