I've been spending the day packing for our upcoming move, which involves deciding what to throw away and what to keep (which, as every gambler knows, is the secret to life). This time around I've decided to get rid of my obsolete Zip drive. I've given the Squelch the right of first refusal, since they're the only entity I know of that still might have a need for one, but if anyone else wants it let me know. I'm also getting rid of a perfectly good scanner because we got a perfectly better scanner with our new computer. If you have need for a free scanner with which to scan freely, let me know.
Anyway, in the process of going through my old Zip disks I found this picture of me and Stephanie, probably from 2002:
I like this picture a great deal, for a number of reasons. First, the soft focus gives it a kind of artsy look. Second, the soft focus, in addition to giving the picture a kind of artsy look, makes me look strangely youthful. Third, I'm pretty sure Stephanie is laughing at a joke I just made. And so I share it with you.*
* The picture, not the joke, which I don't remember what it was.
You do look younger-- I think it's the Pepsi. When did I last see you drinking a Pepsi?
i have a holohanecdote about Pepsi:
Once during a Squelch deadline, some of us went to Fabuloso (remember Fabuloso?) for some sustenance. Fabuloso had glass bottles of Coca-Cola imported from Mexico, a country which has forgotten the value of neither glass nor real sugar. Holohan leapt at the opportunity to spend thrice market value for twelve ounces of this glass-enshrined sugary concoction. Indeed, i believe it was the only thing he talked about on the walk back to Eshelman.
We soon arrived back at the office. The specifics are lost to the mists of time, but somehow, then-Editor-in-Chief Luke Filose became convinced that he could open Matt's Coke bottle with a hammer. Maybe we didn't have a bottle opener?
"C'mon, it'll work. I know what i'm doing!" Luke cried, holding out his hand for Matt's bottle of syrupy delight.
"But..." Matt whimpered.
Luke pressed on. "C'mon!"
"Yeah, Holohan, just give it to him," said someone else, possibly Ben Birken.
Knowing he was beaten, Holohan relinquished the soda. I swear i saw him mouth the word "goodbye". Luke took the bottle, lined it up with the edge of a piece of furniture, and dropped the hammer.
Predictably, the plan failed. While it's true that Luke did open the bottle with his crude tool, he also sprayed glass across the hallway and, alas, down into the murky, bubbly abyss.
Rather than face severe internal bleeding from ingesting a shard of glass or five, Holohan requested and received a replacement soda from the vending machine: Pepsi in plastic.
Holohan pouted for the rest of the night, decrying the inferiority of plastic to glass, of Pepsi to Coke.
The issue came out on time, though. And my burrito was delicious.
Yes, it was because we didn't have a bottle opener. Why we had a hammer but not a bottle opener will always be a mystery. And the piece of furniture Luke used was a metal filing cabinet.
Pepsi is better than Coke.