In the Summer Associate Time

UPDATED: Added an extra verse.

This is the time of year when doe-eyed law students show up at law firms all fancied up and ready to experience the genuine law firm experience, meaning free meals, baseball games, weekend trips to wine country, and luaus at partners' houses. In honor of Summer Associate season, I present this video, which sets forth my favorite song about summer, "In the Summertime" by Mungo Jerry.

Southern California AM radio fans may recognize it as the theme song for Melinda Lee's weekend show, or at least the theme song that Melinda used in the 2002-2003 time frame when I myself was a Southern California AM radio fan. "In the Summertime" is a great song; the video, sadly, not so much. The great thing about the video is how irritated everyone looks, particularly in the context of a slap-happy song about how happy they are about summer. The lead singer is mean-mugging almost consistently (or at least trying, and failing miserably, to smile for the camera), and the bass player looks positively pissed when he's called upon to participate in the "da dee da da da" segment. The only genuinely chipper-looking fellow is the pianist, which makes sense since his role in the song is the most memorable.

Anyway, in further honor of all of these things I've composed the following set of lyrics to the tune of "In the Summertime." If I had an abundance of wealth, time, and talent, I would make this into a viral video, but as it stands I'll have to leave that to someone with more wherewithall.

In the summertime,
When the summers are here,
You can cool yourself
With a soda or a beer.
It's recruiting time,
And it's time to turn the charm offensive on.
Have a drink, maybe five,
And hope you don't end up on Above the Law.

When the noontime comes,
Take 'em out for a meal.
You'll get reimbursed,
So you can order what you feel.
In the summertime,
You can treat yourself to salad and dessert.
It's not on your tab,
So an extra appetizer couldn't hurt.

When the sun goes down,
Then it's time to go out
To a baseball game
Or a backyard luau.
Take a weekend trip
To wine country or the mountains or the beach.
Rent some Callaways
And try not to leave your wedge out on the green.

When the partners say
You should give 'em some work,
Give 'em sweetheart tasks
So you don't look like a jerk.
For appearance sake,
You should try to mix some work into the play.
Let 'em take all week,
You won't charge the client for it anyway.

When they're back at school
And the offers are made
Yeah, they'll all accept,
'Cause they like gettin' paid.
In the summertime
They got used to having lots of spending cash.
Finish class, take the Bar,
Sign your life away to Skadden or Cravath.