Note to Self: Do Not Allow Children to Prepare My Food


Hey, here's a pleasant thing to think about as I gaze into the future when my unborn child(ren) will (a) become surly, rebellious, functionally operationally egocentric teenger(s)!

A 16-year-old girl was arrested Tuesday and charged with aggravated domestic battery after Pasco deputies said she spiked her mom's food with an ingredient that she knew could cause a severe allergic reaction.

But wait! There's more!

The mom's reaction was so intense that she was unable to inject herself with the EpiPen, deputies said, and the teen had to do it for her. The woman did not require further treatment.

Fabulous. I've always assumed that I'd be able to self-inject if I ever had to, but the thought of relying on the person who just poisoned me to help administer the antidote is just a tad unsettling.


Maybe plan to have one more child than you actually want, and make that extra child be the food taster. (This may also be Brad and Angelina's strategy, although if so, they're playing it pretty close to the perfect chest.)

Augh, you know what, I apologize. It occurs to me there are many times in one's life when it is funny to make jokes about mistreating one's future kids, but when you're about to have a future kid is probably not one of those times.

Please. Food tasting is only one of the many dangerous and menial chores I will assign to my children.

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on May 23, 2008 3:51 PM.

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