Conversations with My Wife: Archaic Rude Gestures Edition


[Watching the baby eagerly shove his fists into his mouth.]

Me: This boy's going to be a thumbsucker.
Her: I was a thumbsucker. That's why I needed braces.
Me: I never sucked my thumb because I didn't like getting saliva all over my hand. So I would just hold my thumb between my teeth.
Her: Fascinating.
Me: It was all well and good until that time in Verona when I was doing it and this guy came up to me and said, "Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?", and I said, "I bite my thumb," and he said "Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?", and I said, "I bite my thumb, I don't know what you want from me," and then Benvolio tried to smooth things over but there was a big swordfight and then my cousin fell in love with some chick and killed himself.
Her: What the hell?


I performed that scene for my ninth grade english class. I got to say "maidenhead" in front of all my classmates.

man you are on a ROLL!!! :)

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on March 8, 2009 4:34 PM.

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