Have you ever looked at a map of California's counties? Have you ever looked at a map of California's counties... on weed? Well, I did today and I've got a few observations.
(1) We should stop referring to the Bay Area as part of Northern California. Look at all that shit north of San Francisco! Let's face it: San Francisco, Marin, Alameda, we're all yokeling it up with Fresno while they're doing authentic Northern California stuff up in Tehama and Siskiyou and Modoc. Modoc knows how to party, and that's no pie.
(2) What the hell is the story with that Mason-Dixon line running along the top of SLO, Kern and San Bernardino counties? Is it just practice for when they finally split us into two states? The rigidity of the barrier is making me uncomfortable. I feel constricted.
(3) There's a county called Butte. That rocks.
(4) Does the region just above the center seem excessively balkanized to anyone else? Couldn't we consolidate a few of those? This seems to be a fertile yet untapped reservoir of NoCal vs. SoCal jokes. Say what you will about our smog and traffic, but at least Southern California keeps its counties large and few.
(5) On a related note, San Bernardino county is the largest county in the U.S., so large in fact that it seems to have squashed Riverside. And you wonder why there are no metal detectors in the courthouse.
(6) After careful consideration I've developed an alternate configuration that both simplifies things and reflects the perception that those of us who live in California's greater metropolitan areas have of our fine state. Governor Schwarzenegger, I hope you're reading.