California's 58 Counties



Have you ever looked at a map of California's counties? Have you ever looked at a map of California's counties... on weed? Well, I did today and I've got a few observations.

(1) We should stop referring to the Bay Area as part of Northern California. Look at all that shit north of San Francisco! Let's face it: San Francisco, Marin, Alameda, we're all yokeling it up with Fresno while they're doing authentic Northern California stuff up in Tehama and Siskiyou and Modoc. Modoc knows how to party, and that's no pie.

(2) What the hell is the story with that Mason-Dixon line running along the top of SLO, Kern and San Bernardino counties? Is it just practice for when they finally split us into two states? The rigidity of the barrier is making me uncomfortable. I feel constricted.

(3) There's a county called Butte. That rocks.

(4) Does the region just above the center seem excessively balkanized to anyone else? Couldn't we consolidate a few of those? This seems to be a fertile yet untapped reservoir of NoCal vs. SoCal jokes. Say what you will about our smog and traffic, but at least Southern California keeps its counties large and few.

(5) On a related note, San Bernardino county is the largest county in the U.S., so large in fact that it seems to have squashed Riverside. And you wonder why there are no metal detectors in the courthouse.

(6) After careful consideration I've developed an alternate configuration that both simplifies things and reflects the perception that those of us who live in California's greater metropolitan areas have of our fine state. Governor Schwarzenegger, I hope you're reading.


this is exactly how i think of california. brilliant. except what's the "i.e."?

Inland Empire. What we in LA and OC term the county for the rather more affluent hicks.

just for the record, when i say "i did today," i was referring to looking at a map of california's counties, not looking at a map of california's counties on weed.

I've always thought of the lovely inland empire as being, not so much more affluent hicks, but just more urbanized hicks. "The I.E." is perfectly sufficient for me, though.

Now my turn for a dumb question. What the heck is Falcon Crest?

falcon crest was a 1980s prime time soap a la "dynasty" and "dallas" which took place in the vineyards of california. it's the show that gave us lorenzo lamas and won't take him back.

there's a town in montana called 'butte' too.

I spent New Year's Eve in Butte county. They seemed tired of all the jokes, but that didn't stop me. Can you imagine attending Butte Community College? What does THAT say to somebody looking at your CV?

AHHH!, I live in butte county, and yes, I will attend butte community college. Its okay I guess, lots of hills, a big lake, and lots of meth. Oh well, Id like to visit southern cal someday, check out the cultural differences.

Great alternative configuration, however, the "Hicks" region includes the blue counties of Mono and Alpine, both of which voted for Kerry. This is due to Ski Chalet Liberalism in those parts. Perhaps that should be a different region....?

Wade, the difference is we have no lake thingies down here.


Other Blogs

Law-Type Blogs

Other Webcomics

Log Archives

eXTReMe Tracker

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by hb published on January 16, 2004 12:00 AM.

Cats was the previous entry in this blog.

Shameless Plea for Help is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Powered by Movable Type 5.04