We Are the Violent Masters of College Bowl


Steve, Tom, Mike and I entered a UCLA College Bowl tournament last week, which concluded this evening with great drama and excitement. There were fourteen rounds with two byes, and we went 10-2, losing twice to the same team, a team stacked with College Bowl regulars who went 12-0.

Since our team, Lowenthal's Nuns, was the second-ranking team, we played the undefeated team in a final championship round. Steve's goal all along had been to make it to the top two, so at this point the pressure was off. Or so we thought.

Though we played valiantly for the first half of the championship round, the score was something along the lines of 150 to 35 at the half, with us on the 35 end. We were down by quite a bit. Morale was low, but noble captain Steve assured us that we were "still in the game." We all pretended to believe him. A little bit.

The second half began ominously. The correct answer to the first question was "Roe v. Wade," and we four law students were beaten to it by the opposing captain. "That's no good," muttered Steve. "No good at all." I told him to relax, which is what he told me to say to him if he got agitated. So I said it. And he remained agitated.

A tumultuous half ensued. Tom's triumphant "Boyz II Men" and my risky "asbestos" secured some much-needed toss-up points and access to bonus questions. But Steve truly owned the night. Using "44 B.C." as his only clue he pulled out "Brutus" for ten. He hail-maryed an impulsive yet successful "iodine," forcing me once again to shame-facedly confront my chemical ignorance. Yes, the history major had gotten "iodine" from "kelp," and me, I didn't even know that neutrinos happened when neutrons decayed.

Halfway through the half Steve growled, "We're back in this, guys." And the audience laughed, those fools whom we had left in our wake, pummeling them with our two "United States of America"s, a well-placed "George Washington, Our First President" and a painfully strategic "Jar Jar Binks." We suffered their giggles and pressed on. The last few minutes of the round were a tense buzzing match between our two worthy captains, until, with about ten seconds remaining, Steve buzzed in with a wrong answer, costing us a minus 5 for the early buzz, and allowing the opposing team unfettered access to the ten. The final buzzer screamed the round to a halt, and I leaned over to My Captain and whispered encouragingly: "If we lose by five points, you're dead."

The players relaxed, somewhat, but tension still filled the room as we asked the hot girl with the tongue stud what the score was, in God's Holy Name, What Was the Score???

Us: 240
Them: 235

A cacophany of applause, laughter, groans, and table-pounding broke out as the law school underdogs claimed their hard-fought victory. And every penny of our respective $25 Ackerman Student Union gift certificates will be spent with several dollars worth of pride.

So, to summarize our winnings:
Steve: Free Basketball Jersey from Mountain Dew, Bragging Rights Amongst College Bowl Colleagues
Tom: The tongue stud girl's phone number
Mike: A mad assist re: tongue stud girl
Me: Giving "They Might Be Giants" as a correct answer

Until next year, playaz.


i can't be happy about this yen my friends have all developed for the trivia night, since the only answer i ever have to a trivia question is a plausible lie.

however, big points on the non-law post because i understand all the words.

Trivia is fun god damnit

nuala's manic! ahhhh!!

i hate trivia. i'm with kristen, i suck at it.

but um....good on you for winning. yeah.

Congratulations! My trivia team was again defeated last night at the Bear's Lair, even though I was gifted with "The Godfather" as a trivia category. We were down four points when I arrived after Round One, and that's what we lost by. The winning team had a British girl as a ringer, enabling them to pick up bonus points with her knowledge of trashy popular novelists. At the end of the game, we were unable to complete our comeback by completing sets of counties in Northern Ireland (I had no idea, so I listed "Spudsford" and "Drunkenshire"), and tribes in the League of the Iriquois. We forgot Mohawk! Mohawk!

I like trivia night because it gives people an excuse to go out and socialize and not sit home, which I am wont to do without a competing excuse. The trivia part is pretty secondary.

I used to play a trivia game at an irish pub in Santa Barbara. No one could think of the answers cause we were all too drunk. Good times, good times.

sean likes to compete and nuala likes to drink. what good irish fellows you are.

For those who care not one whit about law school but like Holohan: Matt kicked some moderate ass in this competition. While he did not rise to the level of "professional quiz bowl player" he did the team proud.
For the law school readers: Elke and Anderson also played great. They are smarter than they look. All three teammates seemed to know more about SPAM, the meat like product not the junk mail, than I do.
It was fun.

FLEM! F-L-E-M, flem! right matt? ok.

allen, while your comment is funny on its face, please please tell me that you're referencing that mr. belvedere episode where wesley throws the spelling bee because he feels sorry for the other kid (the kid is sick or poor or something).

and steve, thanks for the props.

You either watched WAY to much TV as a child, or you don't watch NEARLY enough now.

I mean "Mr Belvedere?" What the hell?

Your encyclopedic Knowledge of "Threes Company" plot lines disturbed me, but Now I'm begining to think you have some sort of disorder...

I like the drinking better than the competing. My liver is better at meeting the expectations set for it than my whiskey-addled trivia mind.

Allen, Matt, don't start with that Jack Tripper business again!

P. S. Back in the dorm era, we once tried to have the name of our dining commons changed to "The Regal Beagle." The attempt failed.

I'm just glad I now have further ammunition for calling you a complete dork. I mean, come on, Jar Jar Binks????!

No neutrinos? Where did you think the extra 1/2 spin went, motherfucker?

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on February 5, 2003 10:15 PM.

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