Thank You, But I'm Afraid I'm Lactose Intolerant


Yesterday I found an unopened bottle of Corona on top of my locker with a red ribbon tied around it. Confused, yet charmed, I left the following message on the hallway chalkboard:

"To the kind soul who left the bottle of Corona on top of my locker-- Thank you! The red ribbon was a nice touch. I'm not sure if I was the intended recipient, but I have it now. And I'm going to drink it. Next time leave some limes as well. And something with which to cut the limes. Your friend, Matt."

So this morning I arrived to find, on top of my locker, a piece of cheesecake in a plastic box, complete with plastic knife, plastic fork, and real strawberry. I went into the hallway to check the chalkboard and someone had written "U R Welcome. (heart) Darren" next to my message.

At this point I'm still mainly confused, but I think the paranoia will set in at any moment now. Also, since I can't stand cheesecake, it's pretty much up for grabs if anyone wants it.


Dude. Can I get that cheese cake?

So, you have a stalker now?

I hope this isn't some sort of secret admirer thing... can I tatoo "TAKEN" on your forehead?

ps- take it as a true sign of infatuation that I assume anything untoward in your life must be the work of someone else who's under your spell

today's discovery: a page ripped out of a magazine featuring an ad for eternity by calvin klein, complete with a picture of christy turlington. how does this person know that christy turlington is my favorite supermodel???

i just realized that the first locker fairy gift showed up the day after i started taking a new asthma medication. the medication makes it difficult to sleep, and i always wake up tired remembering weird dreams. so maybe i've been sneaking off to campus in my sleep and leaving gifts for myself. maybe i AM tyler durden.

if it was yourself then doesnt that mean your in love withyourself? i mean i've heard lawyers are narcisistic but is'nt this a new extreme?

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on February 20, 2003 9:03 AM.

Curse of the Afterborns was the previous entry in this blog.

IFTL Quiz: Spot the Drama Geek is the next entry in this blog.

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