More Boring Cat Stories


Ever since the unsettling disappearance of Mimi before the rains started I've been depressed by the lack of feline presence in my yard. However, yesterday I got quite an eyeful from a few other neighborhood cats that are much less interested in the likes of me than Mimi ever was. As I was leaving my apartment to buy some duct tape* I spotted Murphy, the orange cat with the human face, mounted atop a small, nameless white tabby, apparently trying to have sex with it. Now, Murphy is terrified of me and usually bolts as soon as he sees me, but apparently the promise of feline poontang instilled him with enough courage to risk the dangers of proximate human activity. The white tabby, for its part, was half-heartedly swatting at Murphy he stared me down with those creepy people eyes of his.

For anyone who has never had the pleasure of witnessing feline copulation, female cats are all about playing hard to get. They scratch, hiss, growl, roar, and make every other effort possible to keep the male cat's spine-covered wang out of their sweet spot. However, given the non-chalantness with which this particular tabby was fighting off Murphy, I gathered that Murphy had sufficiently broken her down by the time I showed up. This might explain why he was so insistent on not running away. After an investment like that you definitely want to close the deal.

As I was walking away I also spotted Jethro, the invisible black cat, watching the spectacle from a few feet away. So Jethro's either a pervert, or he was just waiting around for his turn to get scratched and bitten and humped.

*The duct tape was to fix my side mirror. Up until yesterday I had quite a time finding duct tape due to the fact that I live in a nation of idiots.


The great think about that is the store clerk thought you WERE one of the nation of idiots when you bought the duct tape. In the future I would suggest Gaffer's Tape. That shit is the shit.

yeah, especially considering the fact that i bought two giant rolls.

they had gaffers tape, but that was like three times as expensive as the duct tape. also, i want something that will hold the mirror in place but can later be taken off without taking the paint with it.

Other Blogs

Law-Type Blogs

Other Webcomics

Log Archives

eXTReMe Tracker

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by hb published on March 5, 2003 9:59 AM.

She's the Mom From Everybody Loves Raymond was the previous entry in this blog.

I Am the Winner is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Powered by Movable Type 5.04