Matt vs. The Volcano

Meli: I thought our wedding went perfectly.

Matt: Me too. Much better than my first wedding.

Meli: [Chuckles.]

Matt: Right into a volcano as soon as the vows were over.

Meli: You or her?

Matt: Her. They just needed me to be a foreign husband.

Meli: Ah.

Matt: You see, she had to prove her devotion to the Volcano God by rejecting the sexual advances of her husband.

Meli: Mm-hmm.

Matt: But under tribal law, if she married within the tribe she couldn't deny her husband's wishes. So they had to have her marry a foreigner. It was like, "I do. Wanna hump?" "No." And then they pushed her in.

Meli: Did they push her in or did she jump?

Matt: They pushed her. But, you know, she wanted to do it.

Meli: ...

Matt: Last Polynesian package tour I ever take.