ABC's Broken Promises


The previews for last night's episode of Lost promised to reveal three mysteries. The episode actually revealed zero mysteries. However, here are some things that may have qualified as revelations in an alternate universe where the producers of Lost don't actively hate their viewers.

1. The Others don't live on the little island. They live... somewhere else!

2. Jack got his trendy Chinese character tattoos from a Thai transvestite prostitute who has the gift of giving people trendy Chinese character tattoos. They say "He walks amongst us, but is not one of us," but according to Jack, that's not what they mean. Judging by the flashback/main action parallelisms of last night's episode, what they *mean* is "I force women to do things for me that don't turn out well."

3. When the Others kidnap children, they... give them a better life!

4. Alex's boyfriend is... a total weenie!

5. Something about Kate and Sawyer that my brain would not allow me to register because I'm so amazingly sick of Kate and Sawyer.

6. Marie also suggested that the constellation talk may have given some clue as to where the Island is located, but a clue isn't the same thing as a revelation.

7. The Others have a whole buncha boats.

I'm really starting to hate this show.


1. they live on the big island (carl said so to kate). but we knew that already since we saw their little houses, manicured lawns, and bookgroup.

2. ha ha ha ha!!! ouch, my side.

5. omg. she's not feeling guilty. whatEVER. i am so over sawyer's constantly professionally styled hair.

6. i dunno if 'teddy bear' is a real constellation...

in conclusion, i...still like the show! sigh, i don't know if i should broadcast that as an exciting revelation though. next week we're being promised a 'reunion a long time coming'. WHAT could it BE?!?! tune in to find out. and to throw your slippers at the screen when it turns out just to be sawyer and kate getting back to camp.

p.s. 1 more revelation we got: ethan was their surgeon.

Yeah, I'm, like *SO* over that show. Except I still watch it. You know, just to see what happens and stuff.

I watch it online after my winetasting class, i.e. 1/2 a sheet to the wind. I'd recommend trying it that way.

The Kate/Sawyer thing is also annoying the crap out of me. I'm hoping that she will return to more ass-kicking, because that's when I liked her best. Sawyer's little nicknames for everyone, while once amusing, is now ...irritating.

I'm with Michele! The episode was pretty week, but it is still moving things forward more than most of the episodes from season 2 did...

And waitaminute... They have CLASSES for wine tasting? Do they have Whiskey tasting classes?

I didn't watch the show, but isn't Jack's tattoo just Matthew Fox's actual "Party of Five"-tribute tattoo? Are they going to an episode that revolves around Dominic Monaghan's LOTR tattoo as well?

By the way, Dominic Monaghan also has a line from "Strawberry Fields Forever" tattooed on his arm. He says, "I'm a huge, huge Beatles fan. You know how people believe in Christianity or Buddhism or Krishna, whatever. I kind of believe in the teachings of The Beatles. Especially Lennon - it's like a school of thought for me." If only the lyrics were tattooed in Chinese!

Charles Manson thought the Beatles were the Four Horsement of the Apocalypse. I think we should worry about people who ascribe religious significance to the Beatles.

Like the best religious teachers, the Beatles taught us about love. And with a love like that, you know we should be glad.

Thank you, good night.

i *think* that jack's party of five tattoo is the number 5 above the chinese writing. the chinese writing is the tattoo the episode revolves around. it's sort of implied that the whole thing is part of the tattoo given to him by the thai girl, because his arm is blank of all tattoo when he pulls up his shirt for her, but probably only the chinese stuff is important in this context.

i'm relatively certain that the chinese stuff probably says exactly what they say it does. so whether it was a tattoo they fake gave him since the beginning of the show ready to pull out for an episode (soooo j.j.) or a real tattoo of his that they decided to use for the episode, it's got to say what they said. right? i mean, plenty of people who can read chinese watch this show.

(sidenote: when that sheriff reads the chinese though, she has horrid pronunciation.)

more importantly, where the fuck does the phuket vacation fit into jack's timeline story? fer fuck's sake.

AND can we assign his party of 5 tattoo to the chinese tattoo to be part of it's "MEANING"? because you know he was a leader on party of 5 being the eldest brother. so he walked among them but wasn't one of them because he wasn't so much a sibling as a parental figure most of the time and thus he was lonely. especially when that hot nanny broke his heart. HOWEVER, it's still a party...of five. no matter what it says, the meaning is that he's not alone as long as he brands his arm above the chinese slogan with meaningful reminders of how he was once part of a group.

he'd better watch out for juliet's questing fingers though. they almost touched during the aloe incident. i bet she breaks his heart too. oh jack, you're such a loner, boo-hoo, you break my heart. man, i really do kind of hate all the characters now.

At the end of the episode when the thugs attack Jack and pull up his sleeve I thought he only had the Chinese characters, so the rest of the crap must come later.

Or maybe he's like Brimstone and he loses a tattoo every time he kills a demon.

sean pointed out to me the following:

"BTW, the internet tells me that Matthew Fox's real tattoo says, "Eagles high up, cleaving the space", which is from a poem by Chairman Mao."

so maybe what it MEANS is that he's a communist eagle. and who's not intrigued by that red avian menace?

I thought that he was simply renaming existing constellations... ursa minor isn't quite as fun as teddy bear.

and then they show the constellation at the end.

i had apparently zoned out before they showed the constellation at the end. i saw carl and was like, what? he gonna cry some more? baby. heh. zzzzzzz. :) well then, that's an excellent way of pinpointing location, you are right.

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on February 22, 2007 8:48 AM.

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