The Days Are Numbered for Me and My Wretched Kind


Apparently some scientists are saying that redheads will be extinct in 100 years. And we know they're right, because they're scientists.

This is a good thing. I don't like having red hair and never have. No child should have to endure life as a red-headed elementary school student. No one. Ever. I think the stereotype of redheads being hot-tempered and aggressive and all that arises from redheads spending their childhoods being relentlessly teased and tormented. It's like growing up on Salusa Secundus. Those strong enough to survive become vicious in adulthood.

And by the way, I don't want red-headed children. My kids will have a hard enough time with their giant foreheads.


Sadly for your children, and future generations of redheads yet unborn, this story has been debunked several times, though the most popular variant of the story has it that blondes will soon be extinct. The story's falsity has not, however, prevented it from being picked up by numerous news outlets, as a quick google for "redheads extinct" will prove.

Oh well. At least I did my part by marrying someone with a slate of dominant traits.

My understanding is that redheads (or 'gingers') get beat on even worse in England. I don't really get it, but there seems to be some seriously violent hatred directed at gingers. Or possibly I'm misunderstanding what I've read. Either way the whole business seems weird.

My mother, a flaming redhead, always told me (with icky nostalgia) how often she was asked by men if "the curtains matched the drapes."
Before redheads or blondes, I think the full bush ranks first as most likely to become extinct.

I relish the thought of our as-yet-unconceived delightfully redheaded babies. It will make my suit for increased child support all that more convincing.

Robyn: You mean, "If the *carpet* matched the drapes"? I think it is a fair bet that the curtains match the drapes. I make that mistake all the time too. Mainly when I'm talking to redheads!!

Well, I guess the redheads can drive SUVs and fly privates jets... they have no need to worry about global warming!!!

Carpet, yes.
I get confused and flustered when discussing interior design and/or my mom's...I can't say it.

I feel like it was at the same cultural moment when society began to value bare hardwood floors above carpet and the Brazilian wax entered the mainstream.

I think the worst part of being a redhead would be the freckles. My dad has red hair (in fact, everyone calls him Red, even though he hasn't been Red since the late's funny to hear my cousins call him Uncle Red), and it sort of skipped a generation and went on to the grandchildren. I wish I had red hair...

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on August 22, 2007 11:15 AM.

Share My Curse was the previous entry in this blog.

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