Hair Up There


Have some face.

First off, the inspiration for this week's offering did not come from me alone, but was rather a group effort on the part of four people: Myself, Jedi, Special K, and Nobbaq. The Nobbaq helped draw the Lincoln beard and shot down all of my bad ideas for the fourth panel.

Also, I'm really into nicknames this week.

So here's the story. About a month or so into the semester Jedi stopped shaving, and spoke at length about it at every opportunity. Jedi, incidentally, is one of those gifted individuals, unlike me, whose beard ends at a reasonable point below the chin as opposed to wrapping all the way around the neck, forcing the wearer to confront his ignominious ape ancestry head on. Anyway, the Jedi beard continued unabated for a while until one glorious day when the bearded one showed up at school shaven to the likeness of Chester A. Arthur, our 21st President.

Special K, meanwhile, being an avid trivia master and a huge fan of U.S. Presidents, was thoroughly excited. The overall reaction to the Chet Arthur beard was positive, especially from those of us with wangs, but Jedi was worried that it was impinging on his scoring abilities and simply wouldn't take a beard compliment from a woman at face value. At Special K's request he kept it until Halloween and ditched it soon thereafter.

A little while after Chet Arthur disabeard, Special K was overcome by presidential facial hair withdrawals and began growing out his Abraham Lincoln beard, which is still growing strong as far as I know. Ultimately I joined in the fun and grew myself the now infamous molestache, which has since gone the way of the Chet Arthur beard.

In related news, I'm about a week overdue for a haircut but I'm not going to get one until finals end on December 19th.

Now that I've lowered myself to writing an entire fucking column about hair, I'll slink back to my memo.


As stated previously in re: MOlestache, facial hair on menfolk is better in theory than in practice. I too have enjoyed the Chester and Abe beards; however, the idea of placing my face in immediate proximity with them (with due apologies to their owners) is nauseating. Who wants a mouth full of wiry hair?

this just in from

A group dubbed the Beard Liberation Front is threatening to boycott Harry Potter films because they continue to use fake facial hair instead of the real thing in the movies, reports the BBC.

The fake beards sported on the silver screen give beardists, as those with ill feelings toward bearded folks are wont to be called, ammunition for their irrational antipathies, says Keith Flett, the man behind the BLF.

"The Santa season is the worst time of the year for beard wearers," says Flett. "The taunts from children and comments we get from White Van-Man get worse."

Flett says the possible Potter boycott is "light-hearted," but insists there is a serious side to his crusade.

Beardism, or discrimination against those with facial hair, is well-entrenched, Flett says. Bearded politicians regularly poll less than their clean-shaven counterparts, and beards have also been known to prevent people from working in certain jobs like food service.


I once made a guy shave off his beard before I would agree to kiss him. he did it, but only on the condition that he be allowed to pour the shaved beard hair into an envelope and mail it to his friend with a note reading:

Dear Sir:

Here is my beard.

Yours, etc...

it seems to me that, even if a man shaves explicitly for a woman, the fate of the beard leavings is entirely up to him. accordingly i don't see why he had to ask permission to send the clippings to his friend.

on the other hand, i think the idea of mailing your beard to someone is brilliant. if only i had come up with that idea back when all those rejection letters were pouring in.

Now I'm all offended.

Matt, if you had sent in beard trimmings, or any other bodily matter, to the Boalt admissions office, I would be truly despairing of ever enjoying your presence up here on a permanent basis. 25 feet of Amazing Glow String was gift enough, thank you.

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This page contains a single entry by hb published on November 25, 2002 12:06 AM.

Five is Enough was the previous entry in this blog.

The Opposite of Convenience is the next entry in this blog.

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